


On air

by Feenaa



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Cheating, Crying Harry, Depression, F/M, Love at First Sight, M/M, Married Couple, Not really cheating by the way, Pain, Protective Harry, Sad, Secrets, Separations, Sick Harry, True Love, Zayn Malik & Louis Tomlinson Friendship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-01
Updated: 2018-12-13
Packaged: 2019-07-05 05:43:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 27,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15857403
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Feenaa/pseuds/Feenaa
Summary: Louis was a skilled doctor who always felt the universe was making fun of him, even in his best days he knew there was something bad to come, because it was how it worked with himSo when he fell in love with the radio host Harry styles, he was wondering how will the universe punish him, but he never thought it was going to be that hard.Never





	1. Chapter 1

Louis always felt like the universe was mocking him, he felt like he was cursed with bad luck all over his life, he was always two steps behind and everything around him was teasing him. He was the eldest child in a full girls house, he had five sisters and one little brother, the house was always full with drama and crying, girls crying. He had a trouble childhood where his father left them when he was barely two, his mom fell in love with another wrong man and she had her first four daughters who he always had to take care of them and put all their fears away. Then his stepfather left them too and his mom started to doubt herself gradually, she was the best mom ever but she didn’t see it this way. So Louis was always there trying to help forgetting about helping himself, he had his own needs but always his family came first. Then his mom married another man but this time he was perfect, so Louis had the time for himself since ages, he started studying medicine as he always dreamt, and then his mom gave birth to a new set of twin, a boy and a girl, Louis was more than happy to have a baby boy who was younger than him by lot of years, he started to feel that finally the universe was smiling to him but he knew about his mother cancer, it didn’t take her long to die. She died within few months leaving all the big family to their grieve, but at least this time Louis knew his sisters has the best dad ever so he wasn’t worried about them when he had to leave to London to work at university college hospital.

It took Louis quit time to accept the idea of leaving his sisters alone, and it took him time to settle down, he still couldn’t find a place near the hospital, it had been two weeks and he was still living in the nearby hotel.  
But Louis loved his new hospital, everyone was friendly and young, so he felt he could get long really easily with the stuff, and that really was weight off his shoulder.

Niall was the first to welcome Louis with open arms, he was friendly more than anyone he met in his whole life, he was always smiling and always radiate happiness, he was a nurse and everyone seemed loving him.

Louis was working with a young doctor as a partner, it was only temporary till Louis understood how things worked, his new partner was working at the hospital for the past three years, so everyone knew him, and they all respected him, he was also friendly but by his own way, he was barely talking but he was also easy going, He was extremely handsome. Kind of breathtakingly handsome, hazel smiley eyes, great bone structure. Sometimes Louis could caught himself staring.

When Louis arrived this morning he didn’t see Zayn sitting at his same spot as usual in the staff room, Zayn barely left the hospital, he was kind of decaying person who loved his work and was ready to do whatever it took to help a person in need.

 

“ looking for someone new boy?” Louis heard he looked at the couch where the man who talked was sitting crossing his arms closing his eyes, 

But boy? Louis hated to be called this way 

“ thanks Dr Grimshaw” Louis answered checking his phone for any missed calls from Zayn

“ he is with his brother” Grimshaw said still closing his eyes 

Louis frowned, was he talking about Zayn? 

Then the door was opened and Niall entered, he looked at Louis “ finally? Dr Malik is waiting for you at the surgery”

Louis was more confused “ what surgery?”

Niall walking outside “ come on they need you”

Louis had to follow Niall who guided him to operation room “3”

He gave Louis a mouth mask and waved for him to enter, Louis looked at Niall for any answers but okay, he took the mask and entered 

He saw three other doctors were standing beside Zayn, when Zayn saw him he asked

“ scrub up, we are starting"

 

Louis moved to the scrub room and he scrubbed himself up looking at the team on the operation room through the transparent window, he looked at the patient and wondered, was this Zayn's brother, when he met Zayn's eyes, the man waved his hand for him to hurry up, but he looked okay, relaxed, no definitely not his brother.

 

****** 

 

“ that was great” Louis said once leaving the operation room with Zayn

He didn’t get any answer and he looked beside him at Zayn who was typing something on his phone, he then put the phone back in his pocket and looked at Louis

 

“ you were saying?”

 

Louis shook his head and smiled, Zayn sighed “ I am sorry. I am waiting for something”

 

Louis nodded “ it’s okay"

Zayn squeezed his eyes shut by his fingers, and Louis now can notice how exhausted he looked

“ have you eat anything?” Louis asked

Zayn took a deep breath “ no, you?”

Louis shook his head, Zayn “ come on, let's eat something, there is a near coffee shop, let’s give it a try"

 

****** 

 

At the coffee shop, Zayn was really trying to eat, but obviously he had no appetite, Louis wanted to ask what was the reason for the sad mood, but he wasn’t there yet

“ here you are guys” when Zayn and Louis looked at the source of the voice, it was Niall who walked towards them with a huge smile and sat beside Zayn 

“ how was the surgery?” 

he asked and took a huge bite from Zayn sandwich without even asking for permission, Zayn didn’t seem to object, they were close friends and Louis wished to have this kind of friendship one day with someone. 

Zayn smiled “ exhausted, but Louis here is really amazing, I think he impressed everyone”

Louis blushed for a second and then he shook his head “ I did what I had to do"

Niall was smiling, Zayn “ no, you are very skilled and quick witted"

Niall looked at Zayn and frowned “ I guess you already have a competitor” he then looked at Niall “ this man is the most skilled doctor at this hospital”

Zayn laughed “ okay enough”

Niall laughed too “ it’s true though”

Louis finally “ I know he is amazing”

Niall took another bite “ so, did you find yourself a place yet?”

Louis sighed “ oh God, not yet"

Then Niall looked at Zayn “ have you told Zayn about it?”

Zayn frowned, obviously he had no idea, Louis looked at Zayn and shook his head didn’t know where was that getting at

Niall “ he needs a place”

Zayn nodded, Niall waiting “ so?”

Zayn finally understood “ it’s okay, sure. But I need to ask Harry”

And Niall's face had dropped for a second “ he is finally coming?”

Zayn looked at the table avoiding meeting Niall's eyes “ yeah, he will move in next week”

Niall looked at the table too and said nothing, Louis was watching both of them really confused 

Then Niall looked at Louis and tried to smile “ I am sure he will be okay with it"

And he finished the sandwich and he stood up “ I have to go"

Zayn nodded “ yeah, so do we" he looked at Louis who nodded and stood up wondering what exactly happened, and why Niall was even here, to just eat Zayn's sandwich?

Finally he decided to drop it ad he followed Zayn and Niall but he heard Zayn saying to Naill “ he is here” but he didn’t listen to what was said next as his phone went off, his younger sister was calling him.

 

***** 

 

At the end of the day, Zayn was missing again, Louis finished his paper work and decided to finish Zayn's too since they were sharing the same patients, he put the papers at the table in front of him, and he took off his glasses, he looked at his watch it was after midnight, he had to leave and honestly he couldn’t open his eyes any longer.

He dressed his regular clothes, He went outside looking for Zayn to tell him that he was leaving, and he finished his paper work, the hospital was already calmer than mornings and everyone looked tired and exhausted, and finally he saw him.

He wasn’t alone, he was with Niall and two other blocks, one of them was tall with short brown hair, a smile brown eyes, with the other was giving him his back but he could see long curls although he was wearing a beanie.

Louis walked closer, he was just saying he was leaving, he didn’t want to interrupt their talking, they were laughing and talking.

Niall was the one to notice him “ hay Dr Tomlinson”

Zayn also looked at him and he felt all the eyes were on him, he smiled “ hello everyone”

The man with short hair smiled “ hello”

Zayn “ shit.. I am sorry I forgot about the paperworks"

Louis shook His head “ don’t worry, I have finished it for you, actually that’s why I was looking for you"

Zayn smiled widely “ oh thanks so much, I am sorry I got distracted .. my brother is here and..”

Louis noticed that the curly headed was looking at him and he waved his fingers smiling at him as a hello gesture 

Louis nodded smiling 

Zayn “ this is Harry styles .. my brother”

Harry who was leaning on the wall stood up right and extended his hand for Louis “ nice to meet you"

and Louis could swear he heard that voice before. And he was amazed by the man in front of him, he never had seen such a beautiful green eyes like that before, and we’re those dimples? Of course they were 

“ and this is Liam Payne, he is our friend" Louis had to cut the eye contact with Harry and look at Liam 

Harry Styles and Liam Payne, Louis was sure he heard those two names before too.

Liam gave him another warm hand shake and then he looked at Zayn “ I think we should leave to, we have a night shift"

And immediately Zayn looked at Harry “ will you be okay"

Louis didn’t understand the change in Zayn's tune 

Harry smiled nodding, Liam “ don’t worry, I got him"

Niall finally said “ I guess you should leave too, you look awful mate"

Harry nodded too “ yeah, you look tired, mom will be mad at you"

Zayn chuckled “ yeah right"

Harry “ I will tell her, I can’t lie to mommy"

“ no you are not"

Harry nodded “ so stop it, she doesn’t need to add any other worries to the list please, or I will tell Gigi"

Zayn raised his had as surrender way “ fine, fine.. I will go and have some sleep”

Louis found himself staring at the whole group, he felt he was an outsider but he couldn’t move, he couldn’t actually move his eyes away from Harry who was looking at his brother smiling, slowly Louis excused himself and left them and walked out of the hospital.

****** 

 

Louis lied his back on his bed still couldn’t stop thinking about the green eyes, the curly hairs. He then took a deep breath and he actually laughed at himself , because seriously what was he thinking? 

 

He looked beside him, it was three after midnight, he had to sleep but he couldn’t, screw insomnia

 

He looked at the TV thinking to open it, then he looked beside him and opened the radio on his iPhone instead, he loved the radio, his sisters always made fun of him but he was in love with the voices through the radio, he put the headphones on his ears and he lied on his back on his bed, closing him eyes trying again to sleep

 

“ good morning everyone, how are you doing? This is Liam Payne"

“ and me Harry Styles"

And Louis sat bolt up, his eyes were opened wide 

 

“ and this is the late night new episode"


	2. Chapter 2

When Louis walked to the hospital the next morning, he felt his head was going to explode, he couldn’t sleep well last night as he was listening to Harry and Liam till early morning, the show was amazing, the two hours went smoothly and Louis didn’t know where the time did go, he laughed at everything Harry said funny or not, he listened to every song Harry put, he enjoyed every minute in the show, and he regretted that he never listened to it before even he knew how his sisters were big fan of it and he saw them listening to the show nearly daily.

 

Louis entered the staff room and there was Zayn sitting alone drinking his coffee

“ morning Zayn”

“ morning Louis" Zayn answered, he looked better than last night but sadder.

Louis changed his regular clothes to the hospital blue scrub and sat beside Zayn

“ busy schedule today?” he asked casually trying to ignore how Zayn was frowning looking in front  
Zayn nodded and looked at Louis “ yeah, a little. Two surgeries though, but they are supposed to be long"

Louis nodded, then Zayn went to his silence again  
“ so I see you already had your breakfast”

Zayn looked at him “ I am sorry, what?”

Not again

Louis smiled “ nothing, I was saying I will get me some coffee before we start, do you need anything?”

Zayn tried to smile “ no, I am fine, thanks"

Then Louis stood up and the door was opened, and Dr Grimshaw rushed inside looking only at Zayn like he was the only one there,

“ Zayn.. is this true?"

But Zayn looked at him shocked, and he looked at Louis then at Grimshaw, it was when he noticed that Louis was still here, so he looked down and said nothing.

Louis felt he was not welcomed in the room so he left without any further talk.

Once he was at the hospital cafeteria, he saw Niall talking to some other nurse, he toppings coffee and decided to drink it here not in the stuff room. So he found himself an empty table and he sat busying himself with his phone 

“ good morning Dr Tomlinson”

Louis looked at Niall and smiled “ it’s Louis, good morning to you too"

Niall sat in front of him “ where is Zayn?”

“ in the stuff room talking with Dr Grimshaw”

Niall nodded and looked at the table, Louis figured that Niall knew what they were talking about exactly

“ so, you and Zayn are close I guess"

Niall smiled “ yes, I know him since forever. before he worked here, I was Harry’s best friend”

Louis smiled “ yeah, so Harry is Harry styles the radio host"

Niall smiled wider “ yup he is, how did you know"

Louis shrugged “ actually I didn’t know when I met him last night, but I felt like I heard the name before, then I heard his show last night and I remembered my sister’s are the biggest fans”

Niall nodding his head “ yeah, they have lots of fans, really talented"

But Louis felt there was a hint of sadness in his voice, but he ignored again 

“ but they are not like brothers. I mean completely different”

“ yeah, they are not real brothers, I mean Zayn was adopted when he was seven i guess, so that’s why"

Louis nodded and that explained a lot of things  
“ they used to be neighbours, so when Zayn's family died at an accident long time ago, Harry and Zayn were too close, Harry didn’t leave the hospital all the time Zayn was there, and since he had no family left here in London and he knew nothing about his father’s family in Pakistan so they adopted him"

Louis “ Pakistan?”

Niall nodded “ yeah, and he is Muslim too"

“ really?”

Niall “ yup, he is, Harry's family is very understandable, when he was moved to live with them, Harry’s mother brought some Muslim instructor so he can teach Zayn about Islam, and she gave him all the freedom he could have to practice Islam normally without any bothering, they even let him keep his last name beside their name"

Louis nodded “ that’s really wonderful”

Niall sighed “ yeah, it is, it was tough too for them as kids, but they are strong, when I met them in high school it was the hardest year for both of them"

“ why?”

“ no specific reason other than people become more racist, and more judgmental”

Louis frowned “ you mean because Zayn's religion?”

Niall nodded “ and Harry is gay"

“ what?”

Niall “ please don’t be one of those people too, I mean back then they were kids and still not understand.understanding..."

“ no, I am not, I mean it’s okay, I mean I like him.. I am like him" he stuttered

Niall laughed “ you like him?"

“ no, I am like him, I am gay"

Niall laughed more “ and like him"

Louis sighed “ oh God"

Niall was still laughing “ well we all like Harry. Who doesn’t? But you don’t expect anything” he said it ad a statement

Louis frowned “ he is taken?”

Niall shook his head “ not for now, no, but he was married and It was.. well not a good experience so I don’t think he would be thinking about any relationships now"

Louis nodded “ oh, he is divorced”

Niall nodded “ yup, four months ago”

“ Tomlinson” they heard, and when Louis turned his face it was Zayn calling him.

Louis already finished his coffee, so he said goodbye to Niall and walked to Zayn.

When Louis got closer he was shocked by the way Zayn looked, Louis looked at Zayn's long eyelashes and they were wet, his nose was red, he was crying.

Louis frowned but he said nothing and followed Zayn who was trying to remain calm and looking at the iPad in his hand

“ the case we are seeing now is very complicated actually” Zayn started, Louis took the iPad from Zayn and started reading but Zayn continued

“ she was admitted here last year complaining from joints pain, it turned out to be blood cancer, she went through bone transplant and healed",

Louis sighed finished reading “ and now the symptoms are back"

Zayn stopped and looked at Louis “ we will ask for couple of tests and then we will figure it out” 

Louis nodded but he and also Zayn knew there was a huge possibility that it is backed

Zayn opened the door, and together they entered.  
She was a young lady, lying on the bed and The look on her face was so heartbreaker, beside her sitting a young man holding her hand, once they saw the doctors, then looked at them

Zayn smiled and Louis noticed it was the first time he smiled since this morning “ good morning Sheena”

The lady Sheena smiled “ good morning Dr Malik”

“so , how is life being with you?”

She smiled “ it has been amazing, I got my work back, and now I am getting married next September” she looked at the man beside her smiling wide

“ wow, congratulations.. I am very happy for you” his voice cracked, maybe the couple didn’t notice but definitely Louis did.

Zayn looked down and faked a cough, then he raised his head again “ this is doctor Tomlinson, he is my partner and he is going to follow your case with me"

She looked at him smiling “ pleased to meet you doctor”

Louis smiled “ the feeling is mutual my lady"

Then Zayn asked “ so, what happened?”

She sighed and looked at the man beside her then at Zayn again

“ I am not feeling quit well, I started to feel dizzy and can hardly exert any effort, and then I have fever that could last for days, nose bleeding, aggressive headache” she bit her lip “ so yeah, same symptoms are back"

Zayn frowned “ you don’t Have to be this way, we will do some tests and we will see"

She nodded “ I know, I know, but ...” she sighed shaking “ I feel it, just like the old time"

Zayn looked down and he said nothing, and when it took longer than expected Louis turned his face and looked at him, and suddenly Zayn sniffed, and what was happening??

“ Dr Malik, are you okay?” she asked

Zayn put his hand on his eyes and he squeezed them, okay he was crying again

He looked at them “ I am sorry, not feeling good today, er... can you excuse me, Dr Tomlinson will keep going with you", and without waiting for any responses, Zayn rushed outside.

Louis looked back at the patient and she was looking worriedly at him “ is he okay?”

Louis nodded “ yeah he is fine, don’t worry.” He was worried, he was nervous too, he looked at the iPad trying to think

“ is there anything you like to add? Any new sign?” he asked

She shook her head and he nodded “okay, I am going to send the nurse to take some blood samples, and I will write you something for your headache” 

She thanked him and he left the room. once he was outside he took a deep breath, then he looked around him for any sign of Zayn, he didn’t expect to see him anyway, but he saw Niall

He rushed towards him “ have you seen Zayn?”

Niall looked at him “ no... dude what happened?” he asked worried

Louis shrugged “ I don’t know, there was that patient we were seeing and then he ... I don’t know left the room" he didn’t want to say he was crying

“ what patient?” Niall asked fishing his phone off his pocket 

“ I don’t know, an old patient, she had leukaemia and now it maybe coming back” for a second Niall froze, but then he continued what he was doing, he put the phone on his ear and waited , then he shook his head “ he is not answering”

Niall looked around him trying to think “ okay, what do you have next?”

Louis looked at his watch “ we are having a surgery in ten minutes”

Niall nodded “ okay, fine.. you go get ready, I will look for him",

Louis nodded “ is he okay?”

Niall took a deep breath “ he has to be" and then he left Louis calling someone on the phone .

 

At the operation room, Louis had already scrubbed up, everyone was ready to start, two other doctors, and two nurses, and the patient was already sleeping, Zayn wasn’t here yet, and Louis was looking at the door from time to time expecting him at any minute

“ who are we missing?” one of the doctors asked

The nurse answered “ Dr Malik”

The doctor frowned “ really? Zayn is never late"

Louis said “ I am sure he is on his way"

Then the door was opened, but it was not Zayn, it was Niall

“ doctor Zayn is not feeling well, he had to take the rest of the day off"

Niall shared a look with Louis then he looked back at the older doctors, one of them said “really? He is sick? I hope he is feeling well soon"

The other one looked at Louis “ I heard you are good Dr Tomlinson”

Louis looked at him and he smiled even though he was wearing a mouth mask

One of the doctors “okay, thanks Horan" and then Niall left

Then the doctor turned to face Louis “ what happened to Malik?”

Louis sighed “ he wasn’t feeling good this morning” 

and it was kind of true, he wasn’t himself this morning, and something was occupying his mind.

****** 

 

After the surgery that took six hours, Louis was finally out of the operation room. 

One of the doctors said “ you did a great job Dr Tomlinson, we are really glad you are with us"

The other said “ yes, you and Malik will do a great team. Good Job”

Louis smiled and thanked the two doctors, when they left, he took a deep breath, the surgery was long, he needed some rest, he needed some food, and he needed to find Zayn or Niall.

He entered the stuff room and Dr Grimshaw was sitting there alone, when he noticed Louis , he looked down again avoiding him. Louis didn’t like him anyways so he also said nothing. He just sat at the farthest chair and took his phone out of his pocket and he called Zayn, he didn’t answer as Louis expected, he stood up to look for Niall when he heard 

“ Zayn left?” Grimshaw asked

Louis looked at him “ I think he did, Niall said he wasn’t feeling okay"

Grimshaw nodded, he looked sad, very sad, and what was going on.

Grimshaw didn't talk again, so Louis decided to leave.  
Outside the stuff room, the place was very crowded, he knew finding Louis will be very hard, he was hungry and he needed to eat something before his second surgery. So he decided to eat first.

****** 

 

After the second surgery, Louis wanted to sleep, he didn’t sleep well last night and he thanked his luck he had nothing else, so he headed towards the staff room to change his clothes and run outside the hospital.

 

He opened the door but he didn’t expect to find Zayn sitting there.

“ I thought you left, are you okay?" Louis asked sincerely worried

Zayn looked at him “ I am sorry for that, for earlier"

Louis shook his head and sat beside him “ you are okay?”

Zayn “ I wasn’t, but now I am better"

“ why did you come back?”

Zayn “ I am waiting for someone and then I will leave"

Louis nodded, obviously Zayn didn’t want to talk so much, so Louis stood up and changed his clothes, he put on his jacket and then his bag, and he looked at Zayn one more time. Zayn was still awfully sad, he wasn’t sick, he was sad.

Louis took a few steps towards him “ I am leaving, do you need anything?”

Zayn looked at him “ see you tomorrow then"

Louis nodded and he was leaving when Zayn said “ what Louis, have you find a place near the hospital yet?”

Louis looked at him and shook his head “ I am still looking”

Zayn nodded “ I asked Harry, and he was okay with the idea, when can you move in?”

Louis felt some happiness was filling his chest “ er... when can you have me?” 

Zayn “ anytime, Harry is moving in next week, so you can come before him”

Louis nodded “ okay, we will talk about it tomorrow?”

Zayn “ yeah sure"

Louis nodded “ thanks man"

Zayn nodded and looked in front again, Louis sighed and left the room thinking how can he live with this person, there was something wrong with him. Something off, and Louis really wanted to help, that if knew at all.

While he was leaving the hospital, he saw him again, the curly hair and the green eyes was entering the hospital, his up to be new flatmate, Harry .

Harry also noticed him because he waved his hand smiling at Louis, who did the same and then Harry looked down and walked inside the hospital. So Zayn was waiting for Harry. Why? And why would Harry move in to live with Zayn as long as he lived at the same town? Why was Zayn this way? And why did Harry also looked sad ? 

Louis sighed started to believe it was a bad idea to move in with this family, but he couldn’t suppress the sensation he was feeling in his heart when he realized he would be Harry’s new flatmate, Louis smiled at the idea and he had no idea why he was feeling this way, okay the man was gay but that’s all he knew, gay and divorced and Niall made it sure that he wasn’t even looking. But still Louis felt happy, he felt he had a chance, he knew he had a chance with Harry.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Goe you are enjoying the story , thanks for reading and for the kudos you are leaving, love your support as always 
> 
> All the love

Louis was putting his stuff out from the boxes inside the room Zayn offered him, he finally moved in and he couldn’t focus it without Zayn and Niall's help. 

Zayn was still quite and barely talking, and Louis started to believe that this was the man, he was a man with a few words. Louis hadn't seen Harry since he met him at the hospital entrance, he didn’t have time to ask about him since he was so busy with his schedule and moving in.

“ here this is the last box" said Naill putting the box on the floor beside Zayn.

Louis who put his family frame beside the bed looked at Niall and smiled “ thank you so much" then he looked between Zayn and Niall “ thank you so much, I couldn’t have done it without you" he talked sincerely grateful

Niall smiled widely “ don’t mention it. We are glad you are here"

Zayn opened the box in front of him and smiled too 

“ yeah, it’s great to have you here”,

Louis smiled shyly “ thanks but i mean it though, it’s your day off and yet you are here stuck with me"

Niall waved his hand “ no we are having fun, stop it"  
then he looked at Zayn “ I am gonna look for anything to eat. I am starving” then he left the room

Louis finished the box he was doing, and then there were four left.

He took the one Niall just put beside Zayn and he moved to check it, but once he touched it he knew it was the box of the books. He dropped it beside the wall and decided to finish it later. The room was already small and he had no idea where to put them.

He looked at the box with Zayn's hand and he saw him staring at something. Louis walked and stopped beside him and looked at what was Zayn looking at

Louis smiled “ those are my younger brother's drawings”

Zayn looked at him and smiled, Louis continued putting out the drawings “ he made me promise him to hang then up on the wall so I won’t forget him" he chuckled “ as if I ever forget him"

Zayn “ how old is he?”

“ five"

“ wow, you look close" Zayn said looking back at the drawings

Louis sighed “ yeah, we got closer after mom, she died few months ago"

Zayn's face fell “ I am so sorry"

Louis tried to smile “ she was sick, had cancer so somehow I feel you is in peace now"

Zayn looked down at the box and said nothing. And now Louis felt bad, he knew Zayn lost all his family so maybe he was now back to his memories, Louis didn’t know what to say, so he looked back at his brother drawings and remain silent 

“ Zayn you twat, there is nothing to eat” Niall yelled from outside and then he entered the room “ I am glad Harry is coming in few days, I think I will live with you lot when he comes"

Zayn chuckled “ there is no place for you"

“ as long as there is good, I will find myself a place" he looked at Louis “ Harry is an amazing cooker, eat healthy food and stuff but at least it’s homemade food, you are so lucky to live with them"

Louis laughed but when he looked at Zayn, Zayn was looking down again.

Niall looked around him either ignoring or having no clue about Zayn's behaviour “ so we have to finish soon, they are waiting for us for dinner"

Zayn “ who?”

Niall “ Harry and Liam, they are giving us an hour, on Liam's treat, and Louis you are invited too"

Louis smiled nodding while Zayn took a deep breath and finished the box, 

When they were finished and everything was at its place, the three men looked at the room and they all realized it was too small 

Zayn sighed “ I am sorry man that you are stuck in here, but the only big room here is for Harry, and I doubt it will even fit him too"

Louis noticed that Zayn gave him the smallest room in the flat, Zayn’s room was a little bigger and he wondered why he was keeping the big room empty

Niall laughed “ it won’t. Have you seen his boots the guy needs a flat for his outfits"

Zayn smiled “ he promised he won’t bring too much"

Niall laughed leaving the room “ yeah he promised, let’s go"

Louis looked at Zayn “ it’s okay, I love the room, besides it fits me, all I need is a bed and I like it"

Zayn smiled nodding “ okay, let’s go"

****** 

 

Louis was excited to see the green eyes again, he tried to hide his nervousness but he failed, Niall was watching him from time to time with a huge smile and he knew he was only trying to tease him.

When they entered the restaurant, Zayn and Niall walked directly to the table and Louis figured that this was their place. He followed them waiting to see the face he wanted and then here they were. When Liam and Harry saw the men coming, they stood up and Louis felt Harry’s eyes were on him, he shook his hand with a huge smile first and then he turned to the others, when Louis sat beside Niall, Louis noticed that Harry was looking at Niall a little angry. Was he imagining that?  
Strangled  
No, because the minute Naill excused for the bathroom, Harry left his seat to sit beside him. Louis looked at Harry trying to understand but Harry was smiling at him, Louis looked at the rest and they seemed not even care busy in talking to each other.

“ did you like the flat?” he asked with his raspy voice, it was weaker a little but still sexy, or that how it sounded to louis' ears.

Nervously Louis answered “ oh, yes, it’s amazing, that flat is very warm, and really close to the hospital”

Harry smiled “ yeah, that’s the point right”

What point?

“ do you know that I am coming too?” Harry asked 

Louis nodded “ Yeah, Zayn mentioned that, and thank you for letting me share you the flat"

Harry frowned at the start, but then he nodded and smiled again “ yeah, you are welcome”

Then he looked at Zayn for a second then looked back at Louis “ did he tell you why?”

“ why what?”

Harry shook his head “ forget it” he took a deep breath and then he looked in front again.

When Niall showed up back he sat at Harry's seat with no words, then he looked at Harry and Louis in front of him

“ did you know you are Louis's sisters' crash Harry”

Harry looked at Louis and smiled fondly “ how old are they?”

Louis smiled “ they are different, I have five sisters”

Harry opened his mouth in an aww but then smiled “ that is amazing" it was his phrase that he was famous for.

Louis laughed “ yeah, it is”

“ I would love to meet them one day"

Louis smiled “ they will get crazy when they know that you are my flatmate"

“ you mean you haven’t told them yet" he frowned 

Louis shook his head “ no, not yet, been busy"

Harry “ give them a call, come on let’s call them"

Louis looked at him confused, then Harry said “ let me call them, come on"

Louis nodded eventually, he put his phone out of his pocket and dialled the wisest one of his sisters and he put her on speaker, he wasn't sure from his other sisters behaviours once they hear Harry's voice 

“ hello Louis”

Louis smiled “ hay Lottie, how are you?”

“ I am okay, and you"

“ I am great, how are the girls and baby brother?”

Harry looked at him and whispered “ a brother?”

Louis nodded and Lottie said “ they miss you but they are okay"

Louis nodded sorry “ listen, you are at work?” 

“ yes"

“ someone here wants to talk to you?”

Lottie “ okay, who?”

Louis smiled “ wait a minute, you are on speaker”

“ hello there" Harry said and the whole table were looking at him 

“ er.. hello, who is this?”

“ oh you have to try harder”

Lottie laughed nervously “ oh my God"

Harry laughed “ wait a minute” then he looked at Liam and waved his hand, Liam laughed and left his seat and walked to stand behind Harry and then he said 

“ hello young lady"

And then she screamed “ oh my God, is this true, Lou.. how did you know them"

Harry was laughing “ know who?”

She sighed “ you are Harry and Liam"

Harry laughed and looked at Louis “ she is so smart"

Louis nodded “ well Lottie, Harry is my new flatmate”

“ are you serious?”

Harry and Louis laughed , Louis said “ I am"

“ oh my God, Daisy will lose her mind"

“ who is daisy" Harry asked 

Lottie answering “ she is our younger sister”,

Louis shook his head smiling “ I will call her later, take care”

“ okay, call me later, bye”

Harry said “ bye”

“ bye Harry, bye Liam"

Liam “ bye”

Louis hanged up and Liam returned to his seat saying 

“ you have two sisters?”

“ five" Louis and Harry answered “ and one brother” Harry added 

Liam laughed “ that is amazing” he copied Harry 

Louis laughed , while Harry said “ that what I said, I mean that must be amazing, I grew up with one brother and it was hilarious, so I can’t imagine having a sister, how about five"

Zayn nodded smiling “ girls and wonderful in the house"

Harry nodded sadly looking at Zayn “ yeah, you told me so" then he looked at Louis “ you are the eldest?”

Louis nodded, Harry “ wow, what about your parents?”

Louis smiled “ well, it was complicated”

Harry frowned “ how?”

Louis shrugged “ all this family not coming from one father, mom married three times”

Harry nodded “ oh"

Louis nodded “ yeah, she wasn’t lucky with men, and when she finally found the right man, the father of my youngest twins, she got sick"

Harry frowned harder, Louis sighed “ she died at the beginning of the year"

“ oh I am so sorry” Harry said sincerely, while Liam and Niall looked at Louis saying “ sorry” 

Niall then clapped his hands together “ fine, now let’s order anything”

Zayn said “ Gigi is coming so as Cheryl”

Niall sighed “ oh God, another hour then without food"

Zayn and Liam chuckled while Niall kept staring at the menu

“ Gigi is Zayn's fiance” Harry said to Louis.

Louis looked at him and Harry was staring at him, then Harry smiled “ and Cheryl is Liam's girlfriend”

Louis nodded and didn’t talk, he was feeling confused from the stares that Harry was giving him.

“ what about you?” Harry asked 

Louis looked at him “ what?”

“ do you have a boyfriend? I mean a boyfriend or a girlfriend?”

Louis saw Niall was giggling behind the menu

Louis looked at Harry and Harry was still smiling, and right now he felt Harry was making fun of him, okay he remembered Niall said something about Harry not into relationships right now, so why did he felt that Harry was trying to be flirty 

Louis looked at the table trying to control his sudden anger “ no I am fine"

Harry frowned at Louis sudden change and then he looked in front too and didn’t said a word 

“ here they are"

Louis looked at Zayn who just talked and then he saw a tall beautiful lady, well a model came and kissed him on his cheek, and that must be Gigi , then she looked at the rest of them and smiled waving, all the table stood up to greet the girls, while the other girl Cheryl gave Liam a kiss too, Gigi hugged everyone, but when it comes to Harry she hugged him really tight, then she looked at him in the eyes

“ how are you ? Are you okay?” Louis heard that concerned tune, but he ignored while Cheryl was offering him a handshake.

Louis accepted the hand “ it’s very nice to meet you”  
she said

Louis “ oh, thanks , it’s my pleasure" she smiled widely to him and she turned to Harry and gave him a soft kiss on the cheek, she put her hand on his forearm and pressed softly like she was feeling sorry 

Then she walked and sat beside Liam, Louis looked beside him, Harry and Gigi were still talking, he felt it would take so much so he decided to sit, 

“ will you be okay? How do you feel about it" louis heard Gigi saying, “ I will be fine Gigi, nothing I couldn’t handle before” Harry answered

“ but Zayn says it’s not...”

“ have you met Louis” Louis froze , Harry interrupted her, and then Louis looked at them and Gigi was looking at Harry surprised, then she looked at Louis and smiled while Louis stood up

“ nice to meet you" Louis said, she nodded and she was obviously trying to cover whatever feelings she was experiencing.

She smiled again and she couldn’t talk, then she looked at Zayn “ I will go to the bathroom”

And she literally ran, Zayn shared a look with Harry, who sighed and sat again beside Louis  
Louis noticed the whole scene and again he had to remain silent, he hated to be in the dark but there was something going on.

Louis finally sat back on his seat 

“ Fine , can we order now" Niall said while raising his hand to the waiter 

After ordering their meals, Harry sighed again and rested his back on the chair 

“ Harry, did you call Nick?” Zayn asked 

Louis felt Harry tensed beside him “ no"

Zayn didn’t want to sound angry “ he has been asking for you for days, he has been trying to call you"

Harry shrugged not talking but all the smiled face had changed into a frown 

Niall “ he has been looking for you last night too" were they talking about Dr Grimshaw?

Harry again didn’t talk. Zayn “ it just a phone call Harry”

Liam “ if he doesn’t want to call him why do you insist?”

Zayn couldn't control his anger “ I do not insist Liam, but he was trying and was trying hard"

“ he is your brother man" Liam said smirking

“ stop talking this way Liam, I support my brother" Zayn almost yelled that every one in the table flinched, Gigi who just arrived froze 

“ enough” Harry said sternly and everyone kept silent  
Harry looked between Zayn and Liam who were sitting in front of each other “ I think calling Nick is my problem”

Zayn and Liam looked down , Harry sighed “ he doesn’t deserve a fight between you two, I will call him Zayn”

They remained in silence for a few moments then  
Sophie finally said “ have you heard the show last night?” she said trying to lighten the mood, 

“ I did, it was so funny” Gigi answered 

Then Niall joined them and said something made the girls laugh. 

“ so, have you ever been with some one before?” Harry asked getting closer to Louis so no one could hear him.

Louis looked at him “ what?” 

why was he like that?

Harry shrugged “ just wondering, why do you seem uncomfortable with this?"

Louis raised his brow, why did he talked like he knew Louis, like he knew how he was feeling, then it hit him, did Niall told harry he liked him, oh of course he did.

Louis looked at Niall who was watching the whole thing nervously, Louis shook his head in disbelief, these guys he thought he could be friend with, but obviously they were trying to make fun of him, and no, he won’t accept that

Louis stood up while Harry and Niall were looking at him shocked and confused

“ I will use the bathroom”

And he walked fast maybe faster than he should, and once he was in the bathroom , three people were inside, so he chose the closest stall and locked himself in.

It didn’t take him long, but when he made sure he was calm again, and there was no sounds coming from outside, he opens the door and headed towards the sinks, he washed his face 

“ are you okay?”

Louis startled and he looked at the mirror, he saw Harry was standing behind him hands crossed over his chest 

Louis sighed “ I am okay"

“ are you sure?” 

Louis looked at him wiping his face with some tissues “ why are you here Harry?”

Harry shrugged “ to check on you"

Louis nodded , he tossed the used tissues in the trash pin and looked at Harry “ why?”

Harry sighed “ because obviously I said something that made you uncomfortable”

Louis shook his head in frustration “ is it about what Naill said"

Harry looked confused but he shrugged, Louis “ well forget it”

Harry frowned “ you are not gay?”

Louis closed his eyes trying to keep calm again “ no Harry the other part"

Harry didn’t talk, Louis “ I know he told you I like you, so forget it”

Harry was shocked , then he said “ you like me"

Louis gave him his back “ well I thought I did"

“ you don’t want to like me Louis” Harry sighed 

Louis looked back at him “ well now I know, I take it back"

“ good, and to be honest with you, Niall didn’t tell me anything, he might mentioned you are gay but not the other part"

And now Louis felt completely idiot “ then why were you teasing me"

Harry defended himself “ I was not, I was trying to open a conversation”

Louis frowned sarcastically “ really, Harry you are a host, you know better than taking about this"

Harry looked down “ yeah I am sorry about that “ then he looked at Louis again “ it just .. I haven’t been with someone like you since long time ago, I think I forgot my manners"

Louis was still looking at him, trying to find out of he was again making fun of him or not , but he looked honest “ what do you mean? Someone like me"

Harry shrugged “ I don’t know. I mean someone I like"

Louis frowned and became angry again “ so you like me, but you don’t want me to like you"

Harry nodded “ yeah, exactly”

Louis was still staring at Harry “ are you Fucking kidding me"

Harry looked down and didn’t talk, then he took a few steps back and said “ I am sorry, if I upset you or anything" he looked awfully sad

Louis frowned “ you really did forget your manners”

Harry looked at him and smiled, then the door was opened and Zayn entered 

“ here you are guys, food is served"

Harry looked at Louis waiting for him to answer, Louis nodded looking at Zayn but feeling Harry’s eyes on him 

“ okay, okay I am coming”

He walked outside followed by Zayn and Harry who were talking whispering. And when he looked behind him he saw Harry was still watching him and smiling, and Damn it, he could get under his skin and again Louis felt nervous.


	4. Chapter 4

Louis was walking fast towards the stuff room, he checked his hour and he huffed, great he was already late for dinner with Lottie. She was at London in business trip and she could steal her self two hours to have dinner with her brother.

When he opened the door he saw Zayn sitting there on the big sofa reading some kind of file in his hand with great focus then his brows frowned.

When he noticed Louis he gasped “ you still here? I thought you were home sleeping”

Louis smiled taking off his scrub “ no, not yet"

Zayn confused “ I thought you had last night shift”

Louis nodded “ I did, but I got stuck with doctor Spencer and she was asking me about last night surgery"

Zayn nodded “ how Did it go?”

Louis shook his head “ pretty bad, we almost lose the patient”

Zany gasped “ no shit”

Louis nodded sadly “ it was tough, but at least he is stable now"

Zayn nodded and looked back at the file, Louis “ what are you reading?”

Zayn shook his head and closed the file and put his hand on it so Louis couldn’t even take a small sneak  
“ nothing, are you going home?”

Louis frowned at the start but he got used to Zayn unexpected behaviour that he even stopped caring

“ actually no, my sister is here, we are having dinner”

Zayn smiled “ enjoy"

Then the door was opened and Niall entered holding a file in his hand “ I got you your results” he said to Zayn, but once he saw Louis he stopped talking

“ what results?” Louis asked confused, he then looked at Zayn “ are you sick?”

Zayn sighed “ no, it’s just some check ups” while he took the file from Niall looking at him angrily 

Louis nodded pretended that he was believing him, he wasn’t

He sat on the sofa tying his shoes, he looked at the two men in the room and they were both looking at the file reading, face full of concerns, then he heard Zayn sigh and Niall whispered “ I am so sorry”

Zayn shook His head in frustration and Louis knew he was fighting the tears, while Niall was still talking “ we still have time. And I did the test too"

And that was enough, what was going on

Louis stood up and he walked towards them “ everything is okay here?” He asked

They both looked at him, no one talked at first, then Zayn said “ yeah, it’s fine" while Niall looked down avoiding meeting Louis's eyes, and right now Louis knew if he wanted to know what was going on he would have to talk to Niall.

Louis's phone went off and without checking he knew she was his sister “ I have to go, we will talk later, I know something is going on"

He said and then left outside 

****** 

Louis didn’t know how much he needed this time with his sister, he felt safe when he talked to her, when she told him everything about his other sibling, he was more than happy to know that they all were doing fine, and life was getting back to normal.

While they were eating the desert Lottie finally said

“ well that’s all about us, tell me about you"

Louis smiled and then he shook his head “ you know everything about me"

Lottie frowned “ we barely talk"

“ we talk every day"

“ you tell me about your work"

Louis shrugged smiling “ well because it is all I do, I have no time for anything, really"

Lottie nodded understanding “ alright, tell me about the famous people you know"

Louis chuckled “ he didn’t move in yet"

Lottie “ what is wrong with him lately?”

“ what do you mean?”

Lottie shrugged “I don’t know, but he seemed off, and last night his voice was too weak I think he is getting sick or something, he is taking a weak off”

Louis didn’t talk, he was thinking about Zayn's results, about Niall being sorry for Zayn.

“ I don’t know, he looked fine last time I met him"

Lottie “ I don’t know, just saying, I thought you know something"

Louis shook his head, but he couldn’t stop the thoughts in his mind

“ so , have you found anyone" lottie asked smiling 

Louis frowned “ I have no time Lottie”

She nodded “ okay maybe an attractive, doctor, fellow or maybe a patient?”

“ I can’t fall in love with a patient, it is against the rules"

“ said who?” she asked surprised scoffing

“ the one who puts the rules"

“ well this is cruel, and unfair, I mean what if you fall in love with the one, not anyone , the right one , and then it happened to be you patient”

Louis smiled at her defensive “ well I have to stop being his doctor”

“ what If you are the only one who can save him”

Louis raised his one brow “ it never works this way Lotts”

“ hypothetically?”

Louis thinking “ then maybe , I should stop loving him temporarily until I save him”

She was shocked “ are you Kidding me? How can you stop loving some one temporary?”

“ I don’t know Lottie, I didn’t put the rules"

She nodded “ well like I said, cruel and unfair"

He chuckled “ yeah as you wish"

“ thanks God I am not a doctor”

He looked at her “ thanks God you are not a patient”

She looked at him smiling “ ok, what about Harry Styles?”

Louis frowned “ what about him"

“ well everyone knows he is gay, do you know that?”

“ I know"

“ and?” she looked at him excited

“ and he is a fool"

“ what?” she looked sincerely surprised

Louis nodded “ yes, he is wired and not understandable"

“ Harry?”

“ yes Harry, have you met him?” he crossed his arms

She sighed “ oh God , you like him"

“ no"

“ yes”

Louis stopped talking, Lottie “ alright, tell me, what happened? Isn't he single?”

“ he is single, he just got divorced”

She nodded “ yeah, he was married to a doctor I believe”

Louis looked at her and his sister knew too much  
“ he is not ready for relations now"

Lottie nodded “ yeah. I understand, the other man was a douche, he hurt him really bad"

“ how did you know that?” 

“ well, I am his fan. People were talking about it everywhere, and he really sounded off back at then, just like now"

Louis frowned watching his sister feeling sorry “ don’t feel sorry for him"

She looked at him “ well of course I will, he suffered a lot”

“ and I am your brother” 

“ so what it has to do... oh my God, you told him you like him?”

Louis kinda shrugged, Lottie almost yelled “ Louis? How? Since when you are that bold?”

Louis “ I didn’t mean it, it just happened. We have a mutual friend that I told him also by mistake, and then I thought that height told him too, so ... anyway. Yes I Did tell him and he was selfish"

“selfish?”

He nodded “ yeah, he said, I don’t need to like him, but he can like me"

“ what does it even mean?”

“ I don’t know, I don’t care"

She sighed nodding “ yeah I am sorry Lou”

Louis just looked at the table between them, she said “ he is so attractive though, so what will you do when he move in?”

Louis sighed “ well, I guess I will act civilized and pretend like there was nothing happened, I can’t leave the flat, it’s very close, and very warm and I like Zayn”

Lottie nodded, she looked at her watch and it was the time to leave, she looked at him “ good luck"

Then she stood “ I have to go"

He stood too “ I know, I am gonna miss you” he hugged her and she hugged him tight, then Louis paid for the dinner and together they walked outside.

In front of her Uber, he gave her another tight hug and then he let her go, watching till the car took the turn and disappear.

***** 

When Louis entered the house, he felt immediately there was something wrong, lots of boxes everywhere, lots of papers filling the floor that he couldn’t recognize it anymore. Then he heard loud voices coming from the big room, someone was singing.

Louis took a few steps towards the voices, and he saw the door was opened, inside was Harry singing out his lungs putting his clothes in the opened closer. Then he saw Liam was sitting on the ground arranging his boots, they were a lot, and then he entered but no one acknowledge his presence yet, he looked at the opened boxes, the bags, and he wondered will it fit.

“ oh God, how did you get in here?” harry asked and then Liam looked behind him and the two men were looking at Louis.

Louis looked at Harry and yes, something was wrong with him, although his voice was powerful and well amazing but not his look, he looked very exhausted 

“ I live here?” Louis said it as questioning himself

“ I know.. I mean Zayn said you have late dinner with your sister"

Louis nodded “ we just finished. I am going to sleep anyway, I am not going to bother”

Louis said leaving the room.

“ wait" Harry said, Louis stopped leaving the room he turned and looked at Harry “ I am having my friends.. is it okay?”

“ what?” what was he doing? Was he asking for his permission?

“ I mean if we get loud or anything don’t hesitate to tell me, I know since we are sharing the flat we don’t need to make anyone of us uncomfortable”

Louis frowned “ no Harry, I will sleep anyway, I haven’t slept for 37 hours so I won’t feel anything”

Harry frowned but then he nodded “ have a nice sleep then" 

and he turned to finish what he was doing, when Louis looked at Liam, Liam just smiled sadly. 

Louis left the whole room heading directly to his room, he had no power to think of anything, but he realized he didn’t welcome Harry properly, instead he made him upset. Louis thought to go back to Harry and apologize, maybe help him a little, but then he felt really tired too, so he dropped the idea, he will say sorry later, he will deal with Harry later.

**** 

Louis woke up suddenly, he looked behind him and it was two in the morning, he took a deep breath, he needed to pee and he needed to eat something and sleep again.

He left his bed and opened his door, the flat was so quiet, he was alone. He walked to the bathroom but the door was closed, he tried to open it but it was locked  
Then he heard sound of the toilet flushing, someone was in there 

“ Zayn?” Louis called

“ in a minute” 

it wasn’t Zayn, it was Harry, then Louis heard the sound of the running water

Few seconds later the door was opened and Harry showed, Louis froze when he saw him, he looked awful, his eyes were red and he looked very weak, and very vulnerable. He leaned on the door frame and smiled 

“ sorry for keep you waiting"

Louis didn’t talk, he was going inside when Harry said

“ I am sorry about the smell, if you could wait for few more seconds"

Louis was hit by the smell when he stepped his feet in ,it was like vomit, he looked at Harry “ did you throw up?”

Harry smiled shyly “ sorry, I ate something bad”

Louis frowned “ how do you feel?” 

Harry nodded “ I will be fine"

Louis couldn’t hold in anymore, his bladder was going to explode “ I really have to pee”

Harry “ oh sorry" then he walked out of the bathroom closing the door behind him.

When Louis finished and washed his hands, he went to the kitchen and there was Harry sitting on the table resting his head on the cold water bottle 

“ are you okay?” Louis asked sitting beside him 

Harry looked at him and his eyes were really red and glassy, he wasn’t crying but he was tired 

“ yeah, I will be fine"

Louis put his hand on his forehead “ oh shit, you are hot"

Harry giggled “ thanks”

Louis rolled his eyes “ no I mean it, you are getting sick"

Harry didn’t talk t first then he said “ I took my medicine, I will be okay"

“ are you sure?” Louis asked concerned “ should I call Zayn?”

“ no please" he said immediately, then he looked at the table “ don’t need to worry him"

Louis nodded and he remembered how he looked in the morning, “ is he okay?” Louis had to ask, he had to give it a shot.

Harry looked at him confused, Louis continued “ this morning, he looked not okay. And then Niall had his results and I don’t think it was good"

Harry was still looking at Louis. And Louis wished he could read minds, the look on Harry’s face was so much unreadable but also looked like he was fighting something inside 

Then he shook his head “ I am sure he is okay"

Louis didn’t pressed it, Harry looked in front again playing with the bottle 

“ you are not working tonight?” Louis asked already knowing the answer 

Harry shook his head “ no"

Louis nodded “ so, did your friends come?”

Harry shook his head again “ I didn’t want to disturb you"

“ Harry..”

“ it’s okay, I don’t feel good anyway” then he looked at him “ are you going back to sleep?”

Louis thinking “ I don’t think so"

Harry “ do you like to watch a movie with me? I don’t feel like sleeping too"

Louis nodded “ yeah, sure"

Harry smiled and stood up but Louis didn’t miss the shaking hands or how he tried to support himself.  
In front of the movie. Harry and Louis was sitting watching, Harry was covered with a light blanket coughing from time to time, Louis looked at him and he was obviously shaking

“ are you cold?” He asked, it wasn’t even cold

Harry looked at him and smiled shyly “ I think"

Louis “ I could turn the heater on”

Harry didn’t talk, then Louis walked and turned it on, he sat again by Harry and they kept watching again

Few minutes later

“ Louis?” Harry called 

Louis looked at him. He was still shaking, and his lips was turning purple 

“ God Harry, what is wrong?”

Harry again smiled “ I think I am still cold"

Louis “ you are sick, it’s not even cold"

Harry nodded, then Louis moved closer to him and wrapped his arms to give him some warm, Harry giggled “ I am sorry”

Louis put his hand again on his forehead “ you are burning up"

Harry nodded “ I will be okay"

“ Harry” Louis said worriedly 

“ don’t worry, I know what is wrong with me” then he sniffed “ can you.. like hold me closer, it works"

Louis frowned, Harry giggled “ I swear I am not trying to do anything”

Louis finally smiled and he did sat beside Harry very close, and he wrapped his hand around him , and then Harry rested his head on louis's lap

“ is this okay?”

Louis smiled “ as long as you are not trying to do anything”

Harry giggled “ no I am not"

Louis smiled, but he felt worried, the man in his arms was seriously ill, he was running a fever and he felt burning from inside, Louis felt his breath was too hot and not even, and even he was still in his lap, he was still shaking.

When the movie was finished, Louis looked at Harry, and he saw him sleeping, he didn’t know what to do he didn’t want to wake him up, then he just stayed there playing with his curls and slowly he felt he was drifting to sleep too but his mind was still thinking of what was really going on

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How do you find it? I hope you find it interesting


	5. Chapter 5

When Louis opened his eyes, he was still on the couch, but he was alone and there was a blanket over him, he was lying down not sitting, and there was no Harry.  
Louis sat on couch and his muscles screamed, every part hurt. He looked around him for Harry but he herd voices coming from the kitchen.

When he entered the kitchen he saw Zayn and Niall in there, talking a obviously making breakfast

“ oh good morning there” Niall said looking at Louis,  
Louis smiled and nodded, he didn’t feel like talking yet 

“ why were you sleeping in the couch?” Zayn asked while putting the egg he did to the four plates on the table

Louis looked at him frowning “ I was with ... where is Harry?”

“ in here" Harry entered the kitchen “ who is asking for me?” 

He sat beside Niall,

“ good morning” Niall said, while Louis was looking at him, he looked much better, his eyes were still exhausted but better

“ how are you feeling?” Louis asked him concerned

Harry looked at him and smiled “ I feel amazing"

Louis “ no fever?”

Zayn was looking between them nervously, Harry shook his head “ amazing"

Niall “ what is going on?”

Harry talking casually “ nothing..”

Then he looked at Louis with begging eyes to let it go, Louis finally said “ I am gonna use the loo"

Niall “ don’t be late breakfast is already finished”

Louis nodded and left the kitchen to the bathroom, he Did his thing, took a really quick shower still thinking. Was Harry trying to hide his sickness to his brother, was Zayn sick, were they hiding things to each other.

 

When he entered the kitchen later, he saw Zayn and Harry talking but he only heard 

“ I will be fine" it came from Harry.

When they saw Louis entering the kitchen, they all remained silent, Louis sighed, they returned to their strange behaviour again.

He sat on the empty chair “ thanks Zayn”

Zayn only nodded, he was looking at his plate and again his eyes were glassy. 

Louis tried to ignore and started to eat, 

“ slept well?” Harry asked 

Louis looked at him “ when did you leave? Why didn’t you wake me up?”

Harry shrugged “ I didn’t want to disturb you, your sleep is very deep I couldn’t wake you up",

Louis was looking at him. He wasn’t eating, just sitting resting his back on the chair's back, drinking his coffee

Niall talked then “ are you going to the hospital?”

Louis finally cut the eye contact with Harry and looked at Niall “ yeah, in an hour I guess"

Niall “ good, we go all together then"

Harry said sternly “ I am not going"

Zayn dropped his fork at his plate angrily, he looked at Harry, Harry said calmly “ I have to do something first"

Niall sighed “ Harry"

Harry stood up saying loudly “ I will be there"

And then he left the kitchen, 

Zayn didn’t talk, Niall returned to his plate and finished eating, while Louis decided to leave the kitchen, he knew he wouldn’t get any answers here.

He walked to Harry’s room and he knocked on the door “ Harry, it’s Louis, can I come in"

There were silence, then the door was opened and Harry was in front of him looking at him , face red  
“ Can we .. can we talk?”

Harry gave him a room to enter. Louis entered and then he looked at Harry “ are you okay?”

Harry nodded “ sure"

“ nothing hurts?”

Harry snapped “ I said I am fine"

Louis frowned “ okay, just checking”

“ thank you"

What with his mood. 

“ okay , I am going to go"

Harry nodded, and Louis left the room closing the door behind him 

On his way back he saw Zayn looking at him and he knew he was there listening to them and damn, this was too much, he wasn’t sure if he can take another episode of this.

He went straight to his room and closed the door behind him

Once he finished wearing his clothes, the door of his room was knocked at.

“ can I come in?” it was Harry 

Louis huffed, he wasn’t in need of any other weird behaviours, he had enough

“ listen I am sorry" Harry said behind the door.

Louis walked and opened the door, Harry was standing in front already full dressed, 

“ I am sorry okay"

Louis “ what for?” he knew what for

“ for me snapping at you, I didn’t mean it" 

Louis finally sighed and looked down “ I just don’t understand what is going on with you. All of you"

“ nothing is going on"

Louis closed his eyes and shook his head in frustration “ don’t, don’t lie" he then looked at Harry “ thanks Harry for apologizing but please stop with the lies”

Harry didn’t talk still looking at h as always, as if he wanted to talk too much but at the last second he stopped himself

“ if you don’t want to tell me what is going on? It’s okay.. you are a family and old friends, I understand I am an intruder here. But I don’t think I like it, I don’t like living in the dark while you whole have your mysterious looks and small hushed talks"

“ Louis.. it’s not like that"

“ is he sick?” Louis finally said looking at Harry in the eye 

Harry was taken back at the start “ what?”

Louis huffed “ Zayn, is he sick? Is this why you’re all acting so strange, you don’t want me to know"

Harry looked down frowning and Louis knew he was thinking for another lie 

“ I just need to know if something happened while I am here .. I need to know what to do"

“ you don’t Have to do anything” Harry started, then he looked at Louis “ and no, Zayn is not sick"

“ then what about those results Harry? At the hospital?” Louis asked challenging, he was sure Harry didn’t have an answer for that 

“ he is not sick Louis, you can go and ask him yourself that but I promise he is not"

Louis finally nodded some how believing him. They heard the door bell rang 

“ so , we are okay?” Harry asked

Louis wondering who was it, then he looked at Harry “ I don’t know Harry, If you stopped being weird then we are okay"

“ and if I don’t?” Harry asked giggling

Louis tried to remain hard and not die for those dimples “ then, I think I should leave here" and of course he didn’t mean it

Harry’s face fell, his laugh was altered to a huge frown eating his face “ what? No"

Louis hated to see the man frowning, he wasn’t born for this “ I don’t like how you are treating me"

Harry “ I am treating you with all respect Louis, how do you want me to treat you?”

Louis shrugged “ tell me the truth, be honest with me"

Harry “ I am being honest with you. Ask me anything"

Louis huffed “ no you are not"

“ yes I am"

Louis “ fine, is everything fine with you?”

Harry frowned again “ what do you mean?”

Louis shook his head “ yeah I thought so..”

 

Then they heard “ Harry”

Harry gasped for a second, then he closed his eyes, Louis didn’t understand what was wrong with him, he looked behind Harry to see who was calling him, he thought it was Liam, but it wasn’t

It was Dr Grimshaw.

Louis looked again at Harry, who was no looking down, and his fist turned into a ball, he looked at Harry’s face and it was empty of any emotions. Then Harry took a deep breath and turned to face the doctor

“ good morning, Nick”

Nick was looking at Harry, and then he looked at Louis “ what is going on"

Harry shrugged “ what do you mean?”

Nick was getting angry “ what are you doing with him?”

“ excuse me?” Harry almost yelled.

Then Louis saw Zayn and Niall coming out of the kitchen looking between the three men 

“ what is happening?” Zayn asked looking angrily at Nick 

Harry answered “ nothing Zayn”

Zayn looked at Harry “ why were you yelling?” 

Harry ignored Zayn, he was still looking at Nick “ what are you doing here? How did you even know I am here" 

Nick “ I was calling you Harry, you never answered”

“ well because I don’t want to talk to you and surely I don’t wanna see you, so what are you doing here" he was very harsh and he it felt like he meant to hurt 

“ Harry this is different, this changes everything”

Harry yelled gritting on his teeth “ it doesn’t fucking change anything” then he looked at Louis who was looking nervously at both men

Harry then huffed in frustration, he looked back at Nick  
“ leave the hell alone Nick, we are no more together” he said it while leaving the whole flat, 

Nick took another look at Louis, and then he left running after Harry out the flat.

 

Louis remained still, looking between Niall and Zayn, then finally Niall said 

“ I told you it was a bad idea" Niall finally said heading towards the bathroom, Zayn took a deep breath and then he looked at Louis 

“ sorry about that, I am sure you didn’t need any of this at your new place"

Louis finally moved and he walked towards Zayn “ I just.. I am sorry Zayn that you are obviously suffering this much, but I don’t really understand anything anymore or at all" 

Zayn nodded “ I am sorry, I know, but it just..” he huffed “ I am sure you will know everything”

Louis nodded, okay he wasn’t going to talk “ will he at least be okay with him?”

Zayn looked at Louis “ you mean Harry and Nick? Yeah they were married before so I think they understand each other”

And oh shit, how stupid he was, Dr Grimshaw was Harry's husband, okay now he can put the pieces together, or not.

 

******* 

 

Louis' say was very long in the hospital, it was very exhausted and at the end of the day he felt he couldn’t take it anymore, he felt he needed some rest, he needed to sit in calmness for just few minutes  
He found himself taking the elevator and going to the roof. 

Once he was there he felt peace, no one was there, it was just him and the sky, he smiled congratulating himself for finding a secret calm place, it would be his place, he walked to explore the roof to find himself the perfect spot, then he smelled smoke, cigarette smokes, shit, was someone here.

He took the turn and then he saw a man sitting in the edge of the room, his leg was dangling and he was smoking alone, it wasn’t that cold but the man was wearing a coat and a beanie.

Louis didn’t want to startle the man, but he also was curious to know what was he doing here alone, he obviously wasn’t a doctor or a hospital member, he wasn’t wearing scrub.

Louis faked a cough and the man startled, he looked back and they both froze 

“ Louis?”

“ Harry?”

Then Louis walked towards him “ what are you doing here?”

Harry closed his eyes then he looked in front again, Louis sat beside him and the view was amazing 

Harry then shrugged “ I like it here. It’s like my secret place” then he looked at him “ what about you?”

Louis chuckled “ I needed a minute to myself, and this was the first place that came up in my mind. At my previous hospital I always stayed there at the roof when I needed this escape everything, well I thought it would be my new secret place"

Harry giggled “ bad for you. It’s already taken”

Louis shook his head “ does anyone know about it?”

Harry shook his head “ not that I know”

Louis “ then, it’s my secret place"

Harry “ what about me"

“ you don’t work here, you aren’t always here, plus I can have you here, you are okay”

Harry smiled and looked in front again

“ so you smoke ” Louis said watching the cigarette in his fingers 

Harry shook his head “ no, they are not mine, I stole it from Zayn, I have asthma .. so”

Louis' eyes turned wide “ so stop, you will disturb it”

Harry shrugged “ one couldn't hurt, it’s nothing I can’t handle" there was a sad tune again that Louis heard 

Louis looked in front too “ do you have another one?”

Harry smiled and gave him the whole packet, Louis took.one and used the lighter to light and took a big drag

Harry giggled “ you are a smoker then"

Louis smiled “ no, I thought I quit, when my mom was sick, I stopped and then I thought I quit"

Harry nodded “ my bad then”

Louis shook his head “ no, I blame the patients"

Harry chuckled “ so, what was the wrong with your mom?”

Louis sighed “ she had cancer, it was late stage so there was nothing we could do"

Harry only nodded and said nothing, he took a drag of the cigarette and let the smoke out of his mouth “ was she suffering?” he asked

Louis looked at him, no one ever asked that kind of question, but Harry seemed trapped in his mind so Louis nodded “ yeah, she was"

Harry “ then she found peace I hope"

Louis looked in front again “ yeah I hope"

“ how did you take it? You and your sisters?”

Louis took a deep breath “ it’s different from one to other, some of us took it bravely and you know understood that she found peace, some not really accepted what happened.. I have a sister who is still blaming me"

Harry looked at him shocked, Louis nodded “ cause I am a doctor, and I suppose to save her, she is too young too, my youngest sister”

Harry nodded but still frowning “ she will understand”

Louis sighed “ yeah I know"

" do you? Do you feel you could do something to save her?" ,Harry asked looking at Louis 

Louis frowned, what with this questions, he then sighed " I don't think so, I mean we tried everything we know"

Harry nodded " so you don't blame yourself , right?"

Louis bit his lower lip " it doesn't work this way Harry, it's very complicated, I tried and I tried hard to save her but I know how it is, if it's gonna kill you then you die"

Harry sighed " yeah right, you die"

Harry looked in front again and then he said “ I am sorry for your loss, no one could even replace a mother"

Louis nodded but he couldn’t answer that, he knew his voice would betray him 

Harry put his hand on his thigh and squeezed softly .  
Louis looked at him “ I am okay”

Harry nodded and pulled his hand back.

“ so, you are okay?” Louis asked to change the topic “ you and Nick this morning”

Harry put the cigarette down, and Louis didn’t understand if he had pissed him off, or he finished his cigarette 

But Harry sighed and put Louis out of his thoughts “ he is my ex"

Louis nodded “ yeah I heard"

Harry smiled “ don’t worry about him”

Louis waited for more but he knew there was no more coming. Then his pager peeled, and Harry looked in front again 

Louis looked at his pager and he knew he was called and he had to leave 

He looked at Harry “ I have to go"

Harry nodded “ I know"

Louis left the edge very carefully “ aren’t you leaving?”

Harry didn’t answer, Louis “ see you later then"

Harry nodded And Louis had to run back

******* 

 

The emergency room was so crowded, Louis was met by Running Niall “ room 2 , a male middle 30s, stabbed three times at the lung”

Louis took the file and whole he was in front of the room, he felt he was pulled by his wrist and he was face to face with a huge guy who was looking back at him angrily, he caught him from his clothes and yelled 

“ don’t you fucking save him, he killed him, he deserves to die”

Louis didn’t have time to answer, as two security guys rushed and pulled the man away from Louis, Louis was still looking at the man eyes opened wide, he started hyperventilating

“ you okay?” Niall asked with concerns

Louis had to nod, Niall opens the door to him “ come on, they need you there”

Louis entered trying to forget that few seconds that happened before, he took a deep breath and then he looked at the man in front of him.

It turned out that the guy needed a surgery, Louis took him to it and Zayn was there with him so as another doctor

They asked him about what happened earlier and he told them he was totally okay, he got nervous for few seconds but everything was under control now.  
They saved the guy and they took him to the intensive care, Louis was still shaking up from the inside and he needed a minute, so after the surgery he excused himself and he headed to the bathroom to wash his face and maybe hide.

Okay Louis maybe heard stories about doctors who might got attacked in the hospitals, but he never imagined he would be one of those doctors, he never faced anything like this in his previous hospital and he knew security at this hospital was the best, so no he didn’t put in his mind that something like this could happen.

He kept telling himself nothing happened, the guy just pulled him a little violently but that was it, he didn’t punch him, he didn’t hit him, it was just like this, so he didn’t know why he couldn’t keep his heart calm again, he felt as if something bad was going to happen and he was nervous too much to stop thinking like this.  
He washed his face and when he was wiping it, he heard sound came from the stall behind him, some on was crying there. Louis was confused because this was a stuff bathroom So some doctor was crying here, or nurse. Louis took a few steps trying to ignore but he heard sobs again and then he stopped, he walked towards the door of the stall and said 

“ everything is okay here?”

Then he felt a horrible pain in his head, then he felt he couldn’t stand, he fell on his ground trying to understand what was going on, he was going to put his hand on his head then he felt a pain again and then he saw blackness.

He fainted.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading

“ welcome back" 

first thing Louis heard when he slowly opened his eyes.  
He looked around him and he then saw Niall was sitting beside him, he was the one who talked. 

Niall was smiling at him softly, looking at his eye to calm him down

“ what happened?” Louis asked

Niall sighed “ what happened mate is something we will make sure won’t ever happen again"

And then it hit Louis. He remembered everything, he was attacked at the hospital bathroom.

Louis closed his eyes, and he rubbed his face 

“ yup, sorry about what happened to you Louis, that idiot previously from emergency room that attacked you earlier, obviously they didn’t put him out and when he knew you saved him he decided to it his anger on you, if Harry wasn’t there you would be.. well thanks God Harry was here”

Louis looked confused at Niall “ Harry?”

Niall nodded “ yeah, he saw you getting in and when you got late he entered to see what was going on with you, and there he found the man attacking you"

Louis “oh God, is he okay?”

Niall “ yeah, dislocated his shoulder, but he is fine"

“ fuck” Louis sighed covering his eyes again, he was feeling a bad headache

“ head hurts?” asked Niall, then “ you will be okay, don’t worry, no concussion, nothing.. Harry fucking saved your arse"

Louis nodded, and then he took a deep breath.  
The door was opened and Zayn entered, when he saw Louis awake he was surprised

“ you are finally awake" Zayn said approaching  
Louis frowned “ how long was I ..”

“ four days buddy" Niall said

“ what?” Louis's heart skipped a beat 

Then Niall laughed and Zayn shook his head “ just few hours, relax”

Louis smiled looking at Niall who was still laughing, then he looked at Zayn “ how is Harry?”

Zayn looked at Niall frowning or surprised, Louis couldn't understand that look, Niall shrugged “ I told him he saved his life and dislocate his shoulder”

Zayn looked down “ oh, yeah”

Then he looked at Louis “ how do you feel?”

Louis sighed disappointed, secrets again, what the fuck 

“ I am fine Zayn, I feel really good"

Zayn nodded “ good, you need to get some rest, they already gave you a day off"

Louis nodded and didn’t talk, he was already angry, but didn’t know from who exactly

“ I am gonna go" Niall finally said, Zayn said to Louis “ he didn’t leave your side all the time you were knocked out"

Louis looked at Niall surprised “ really?” Niall shrugged “ I didn’t want you to wake up alone here”

Louis smiled feeling grateful “ thanks Niall"

Niall smiled again softly and he left the room for Louis and Zayn, Zayn walked and sat by Louis on the chair Niall was sitting at few seconds before 

“ do you remember what happened?”

Louis thinking “ I don’t know, not really.. all I remember I was in the bathroom and then I heard that voice so I thought I had to check"

“ what voice?”

Louis “ I think someone was crying, and when I moved closer to have a better look everything turned black"

Zayn was staring at louis pressing his lips shut, he then nodded “ yeah, someone attacked from behind"

Louis didn’t talk, then he looked at Zayn “ where is Harry?”

Zayn “ I sent him home, he wasn’t feeling good after that fight”

Louis bit his lip feeling already concerned “ was he hurt bad?”

Zayn shook his head “ no, it’s not that, it’s.. He is fine now"

And now he knew he wasn’t fine 

“ I think I should go home too"

“ not gonna happen” zayn said shaking his head 

Louis “ I feel fine, so I will take my rest at home"

Zayn watching him “ are you sure?”

Louis nodded “ yeah, sure.. I mean you say no concussion, right?”

Zayn nodded “ yeah, nothing”

Zayn nodded and stood up “ I will see what I can do"  
Then he left the room. 

*******

Zayn insisted to drive Louis home, it was five minutes in foot and two minutes by car, but Zayn didn’t want to leave Louis alone.

When they entered the flat, they heard the tv was on, Harry was awake. But when Louis walked to the tv it wasn’t Harry, it was Nick.

“ where is he?” Zayn said to Nick

Nick looked at Louis and then at the TV “ sleeping”

Then Zayn looked at Louis “ I will go and check on him, you go to change your clothes”

Louis had to follow Zayn's order, he felt so tired that he might collapse any second.

Louis changed his clothes and he lied himself in his bed waiting for Zayn so he can ask him about Harry, he promised himself if Zayn didn’t show up in the next five minutes Louis would go himself to check on Harry and to thank him.

Zayn didn’t show up, Louis didn’t go. Louis fell asleep.

*****

 

“ because it was stupid"

That what wake Louis up, someone was yelling those exactly words. Louis opened his eyes not aware where he was or what was going on. But he was sure he heard right 

“ you could die there, why would you do that?” another yell, Louis couldn’t recognize the voice. Louis left his bed now feeling alerted. 

He checked his cell phone, and it was nine in the morning. He left his bed and he walked towards the door 

“ answer me God damn it"

Then Louis opened the door and he heard a voice he recognized 

“ why do you even care?”

“ I care Harry, of course I care, you were my husband”

Okay they were Nick and Harry, and Louis was stuck he needed to use the bathroom but he didn’t want to disturb the angry couple

“ exactly I was, now we are not together anymore, I am pathetic and deserve what you did to me remember?”

Nick huffed “ my God Harry that was long time ago"

“ it was few months ago Nick” then Harry said with a calm voice “ why are you here Nick?”

“ I am here since last night, I didn’t leave"

“ why?” Harry said annoyed

“ because I am worried about you" 

Harry chuckled “ yeah right, you are worried about me"

“ yes Harry I am, it's serious, look at you, and you were stupid enough to get involved in a stupid fight, what were you thinking?” Louis heard the anger in Nick's voice 

“ I was helping a friend” Harry said calmly 

a friend , is that what he was to Harry? Somehow Louis felt disappointed 

“ oh please, you could get killed you idiot, does he even worth it?”

“ he does" Harry yelled , and Louis was surprised 

“ he is my friend”

“ you barely know him Harry”

Louis waited for Harry to talk but Harry didn’t, then Nick said 

“ oh God, you like him!"

Silence 

Louis could hear his heartbeat on his ears for the nervousness, okay Harry already said so but he thought he was making fun.

“ you like him? Oh shit?”

“ what if I do?”

“ Harry you can’t, you know that"

“ get out Nick”

“ Harry please, listen to me, you need to focus here, you need to get better”

Get better from what exactly?

“ and you think you are the one who will help me to get better"

“ well yes, I know you, you need me”

“ I don’t need you Nick, I didn’t need you before and I don’t need you now"

“ Harry, can you put out issue aside for a little while"

“ why? God Nick, do you think because I am sick now I would forget what you did to me? Do you think because I am dying I am just gonna forgive you?”

And what?!

Louis stopped breathing, what did he just hear? What did Harry said?

“ Harry you are not dying" 

Yes , Harry wasn’t dying, right? Louis waited for Harry to answer, he needed to hear him talk again, but Harry said nothing, then he heard a sound of a door slammed. And then he heard silence.

Louis waited for a few seconds more before he could walk. He didn’t hear anything and then he heard the sound of the flat door opened and then closed, he thought Nick had left.

Louis walked outside and he looked in the living room and it was empty, Harry’s door was closed, he took a deep breath or tried and then he walked to the bathroom to wash his face and adjust what he just heard.

Harry wasn’t dying, he wasn’t. He was okay and he maybe sick but it was a good poisoning, nothing more, right?

When Louis went out from the bathroom, he heard some noises coming from the kitchen, he walked to it and there was Harry standing in front of the stove, he couldn’t see Louis.

Louis entered the kitchen looking at him and he couldn’t see his face that he needed badly to see, but he knew Harry was using a sling for his arm 

“ what are you doing?”

Harry startled and then he looked at Louis “ you gotta stop doing it mate"

Louis smiled, he had to, Harry was smiling wide at him dimples and everything.

“ how are you? How is your head?”

His head? Shit? Yes he was attacked last night.

Louis was still looking at Harry and Harry was still waiting for any answer “ are you okay? Dizzy?” Harry asked 

But Louis finally said “ I am fine, what about you?” he said looking at his sling 

Harry looked at it too “ yeah, it’s nothing”

“ you dislocate your arm Harry”

Harry shrugged, Louis walked to him “ thank you"

Harry nodded, Louis “ but that was stupid, you could get hurt way more"

Harry nodded and turned to the stove “ yeah, don’t worry about me”

Then he held the pan with one hand and he put it at the counter, he put two plates on it then he tried to put the egg on the plate, but he finally sighed 

“ I think I need a hand"

Louis who was watching him suffering, but his mind was trapped at the last words he heard him saying to Nick, he jumped and held the pan “ yeah, sorry"

Harry giggled “ it’s okay, that was quit a hit you took last night"

Louis looked at Harry and then he looked at the plates again and filled them with the eggs. 

Harry poured the coffee in the two cups and then he put them one by one on the table , 

Harry sat and waited for Louis who put the two plates and he now could see that the table were filled with sausage, fruits and orange juice 

“ when did you do all that?”

Harry shrugged “ I wake up early"

“ it’s nine thirty"

Harry nodded drinking his coffee “ yeah, early"

Louis sighed “ did you sleep at all?”

Harry shook his head “ I am having something important in my mind, I can’t sleep good, plus I was worried about you, I checked on you twice and if you were not breathing I would thought that you were dead”

Louis was looking at Harry, he didn’t comment

“ I was worried about you, when I saw him hitting you I didn’t know what to do"

Louis finally looked at the table “ that was you in the bathroom, you were the one who was crying there “

Harry didn’t talk, he was still staring at louis.

Then Louis looked at him and he looked at his eyes “ right?”

Harry finally said “ no one was there Louis”

But Louis just nodded, and started to drink his coffee too,

“ does it hurt? Your shoulder?” Louis asked following Harry technique 

Harry looked at Louis who was eating now “ a little”

Louis nodded then he looked at Harry “ you saved my life"

Harry “ of course I would”

Louis smiled and then he finished eating while Harry was watching him. They remained silent till Louis finished his breakfast, he asked Harry to eat but Harry refused, said he was full, Louis didn’t comment, he just washed the dishes while Harry said he would have some rest, and then he left the kitchen.

When Louis finished, he heard voices were coming from outside, Zayn and Liam 

He went outside and he saw Harry was with them and they were talking in the living, 

Liam looked at him when he showed up “ Louis? How are you?” 

Louis nodded “ I have been better but I am okay, thanks”

He felt Harry’s eyes were on him, then Louis sat beside Zayn 

“ headache?” Zayn asked

Louis shook his head “ not bad, I took some medicine when I wake up, so where is Niall”

Zayn “ he is coming, we are taking this day off too"

Harry looked at Zayn “ why?”

Zayn looked at Harry and shrugged, but Harry didn’t like it and he looked down at the floor.

Louis noticed everything and he looked at Harry “ great, is there anyone else coming? Nick perhaps?”

And Harry snapped his head up to Louis, Louis was still watching him

“ why would Nick come?” Liam asked

Louis shrugged “ I thought he is a friend” he cut the eye contact and looked at Liam, but suddenly Harry stood up and left 

Liam “ what is the wrong with him?”

Louis sighed “ he was here, Nick, this morning. They were fighting”

Zayn cursed, while Liam sighed “ not again”

Louis stood up “ I guess I should talk to him"

He walked to Harry’s room and he knocked the door, when Harry opened he was full dressed

“ where are you going?” Louis asked

“ why do you care?”

Louis sighed “ I am sorry, I didn’t mean to upset you"

Harry said while taking his phone and wallet from the commode next to his bed “ you didn’t”

Louis took a step inside the room, and he closed the door behind him

“ what are you doing?” Harry frowned

Louis sighed “ I heard you this morning, you and Nick”

Harry closed his eyes “ what did you hear?”

Louis “ I guess I heard what you didn’t wanted to hear"

Harry shook his head in frustration and he sat on his bed, Louis sat beside him 

“ what exactly is the wrong? What do you suffer from Harry?”

Harry sighed “ I didn’t want you to know"

“ why?”

Harry shrugged but he wiped his year “ because I like you”

Louis sighed “ I like you too"

Harry shook his head “ you won’t now"

Louis was shocked “ I won’t like you because you are sick?”

Harry shook his head “ you will feel sorry for me, but not like me"

“ Harry, what are you talking about?”

Harry shrugged “ it happened before”

Louis was still looking at Harry, Harry “ you won’t need a sick a man in your life Louis”

Louis finally looked down “ you give me the choice to decide Harry, tell me what is going on"

Harry took a deep breath, Louis “alright, I know you’re sick and somehow you think you could hide it from me and I don’t know why"

“ I told you I like you”

Louis looked at him again “ alright I like you too so..”

“ no"

Louis stopped talking, Harry was still looking down “ I can’t let you say this now, I can’t let you like me now”

Louis chuckled “ what are you going to do about it Harry”

Harry didn’t talk 

Louis “ I know what I want, and I want to know you more. I mean I know we barely know each other but it is what it is”

Harry looked at him “ I want to know you too”

“ good then"

Harry then shook his head and Louis could see the tears falling on his cheeks “ but it’s wrong" 

“ Harry”

“ it’s wrong, I can’t do this now. You don’t Have to go through this with me, you don’t Have to be stuck with me"

“ why are you calling it this way”

Harry looked at him and said “ because it is what it is Louis, I am sick alright, you are not, let’s just keep it this way, let’s just be flatmates and that’s it"

Louis frowned “ how could you ask me that?”

Harry looked down and didn’t talk, Louis sighed “ I won’t accept this Harry just because you are sick, I don’t care if you are sick or not"

“ but you should”

“ why”

“ because I won’t be able to give you anything. I am starting my treatment today and I know how it will make me feel, God I am so stupid" he was very angry now 

Then he left the bed, Louis was still watching him “ stupid?”

“ because I thought I could make it work, I thought I could hide it for much longer so I could win myself sometime with you while you..” he stopped himself

Louis stood up and looked at him “ what? I am what?”

Harry sighed “ treat me normally” 

Louis felt sorry “ Harry, your sickness won’t change anything, I like you because I believe you are a good man, I liked you before I even knew you were sick, so your sickness had nothing to do with my feelings”

Harry shook his head “ you don’t know what you are talking about"

“ Harry I promise ...”

“ no ,please don’t, don’t promise me anything Louis, you don’t Have to"

Louis felt he was already losing and he didn’t like how Harry was stubborn “ will you let me decide?”

Harry was still looking at him, but then he shook his head and left the room running outside, Louis sighed and he ran after h but Harry was already out of the flat followed by Liam.

Louis was going to follow them but Zayn “ please don’t”

Louis turned his face to look at Zayn “ why is he doing it?”

Zayn “ it’s a long story Louis, but he really tried his best not to let you know"

“ why?”

“ because he likes you, and he didn’t want you to feel sorry or obligated to be with him"

Louis sighed “ not you too, what are you talking about?”

Zayn sighed “ he felt it wasn’t fair"

“ what is not fair" Louis was losing his patience 

Zayn took a few seconds to answer then he finally said 

 

“ Harry is dying Louis”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone, hope you are all okay
> 
> Thanks for reading and I hope you are enjoying
> 
> This day is very special to me and I would to share it with you, so wish me happy anniversary ❤❤

“ alright, alright Liam, we are waiting, don’t be late" 

Zayn said through the phone “ okay bye" then he hanged up and looked at Louis who was still sitting on the couch waiting for zayn to explain.

Zayn sighed and then he said “ he found him, Niall is with him and they are coming home"

Louis nodded “ so will you explain to me before he come?”

Zayn nodded and sat beside him “ I will tell you everything, but you have to promise me something”

Louis nodded 

“ if you decide to stay, you can’t leave, you can’t break his heart"

“ I won’t leave" he started to feel annoyed again, whey was they expecting him to leave 

“ you should mean it, you have to know what you are dealing with"

Louis shook his head in frustration “ I know Zayn I know, why do you think I will leave if he is sick? Did any of this ever happened?”

“ yes" Zayn said as calm as he can.

Louis frowned “ what do you mean?”

“ when he was sixteen, he was diagnosed with lung cancer, and it was so horrible and painful for the whole family..”

Louis was shocked “ he mentioned he has ashtma”

Zayn shook his head “ not asthma, but they had removed a part of his lung in order to save him, you know what I mean"

Of course he did, he was a doctor after all 

“ he was in his first relation. They were still at the beginning , but Harry loved him so much and you know how the beginnings are, Harry had a bad time fighting his feelings and who he was, he was bullied at school so he never expected to be accepted as being gay, so when he was in a relation he was the happiest”

Louis nodded “ did he leave him because he was sick ?”

Zayn nodded “ after his first session, he came to visit but Harry was too sick, he was vomiting and dizzy so when he saw him this way, he disappeared and never showed up again, I guess he freaked out or something"

Louis closed his eyes, how could someone do this to him

“ he was depressed and very angry, he didn’t want to finish his treatment at the start, he hated his cancer and it was like hell for all of us" Zayn sighed closing his eyes “ when he was finally healed, he decided to change everything in his life, he gave himself and life a second chance but by his rules, he never got attached and he was so careful to fall in love with the wrong person"

Then Zayn opened his eyes “ and then he met Nick, he was happy and I believe they loved each other, they got married but after three years things took a different turn, they divorced eight months ago and again Harry fell in depression, he was trying to fight it and he was trying to be okay.. That when the symptoms showed"

Zayn stood up “ Harry was the reason I wanted to study medicine, and because I am always worried about him, I noticed the signs from the begging, I didn’t want to worry him or upset him, but when he started to faint more than he should, I asked him to the do some tests" he looked at Louis “ that was the day you showed up, I am sure you noticed how nervous I was"

Louis nodded, he never saw Zayn not nervous, and nowhe he understood the reason 

“ yeah, because I knew it would be something bad, I knew, and somehow he knew too and he was taking it very easily and that was scaring me" Zayn shrugged “ I am always worried “

“ the day I knew was the worse day in my life, he has leukaemia and I tried to explain to him all the options he has, he needs a bone marrow transplant, so we decided to do the tests first then we talk, we had to tell mom and again I felt awful because it was all in her, she is the only family he had, I am not his real brother as I am adopted, mom was negative, I did the test too but didn't expect a lot to be honest, you were there when Niall brought the results"

Louis again nodded, he remembered that day very much 

“ Niall was negative too, Liam, Gigi, Sophie.. everyone we knew, so I had to tell Nick, and I knew it would be a bad idea, but he is my brother and I have to save him,  
right?"

Louis understood

“ I know how Nick was to Harry, I know how awful things had come between them, but Nick knew somehow there was something wrong with him, I promised Harry I won’t tell Nick or you, but Nick I had to tell him to do the tests"

“ and?”Louis asked

Zayn shook his head, he sighed sadly “ he is starting the chemo tonight, and I know he is nervous so you knowing about him today is actually making it worse"

“ I would know sooner or later"

“ I know, but he was scared that if you knew you would leave"

“ oh come on Zayn, I am not a kid, what happened before was childish, they were both kids, the boy got scared"

Zayn “ I know Louis, but he doesn’t, and now I am scared and I don’t really know how to think"

Louis frowned “ I don’t think he is that bad, I mean let’s see what will happen when he come back”

Zayn nodded then he looked at Louis “ so, will you stay?”

Louis was shocked “ you are kidding right?”

Zayn didn’t move, he just kept staring 

Louis sighed “ yes of course I will, nothing changes what I feel" 

“ what do you feel?”

Louis smiled “ don’t play the over protective brother with me Zayn”

Zayn finally smiled

Louis sighed smiling “ I don’t know what I feel, but I know I want to stay by his side, I want to help him and I want to listen to him talk and laugh, I am not an easy person but somehow with him I feel like a teenager again and I just feel I have a crush"

They both laughed 

“ I like him Zayn, and if us won't make it, I will make sure to stay because he is a good person to keep, but I will make sure it works”

Zayn smiled “ good luck with that"

Zayn's phone rang again , Zayn answered immediately “ yes Liam, what do you mean you lost him.. shit, okay, okay, I will look for him"

Louis was looking at Zayn waiting, Zayn said “ Harry disappeared. He was with them then suddenly he is vanished”

Zayn was taking his keys and wallet rushing towards the door, Louis followed him without saying any word, and he knew that was it, he was involved, and there was no turning back, if he was going to do it, then he had to do it. He knew what cancer meant, he had seen it before with his mom, he knew what he was putting himself through and he the minute he left that flat to look for Harry, there was no turning back, he was stuck.

They looked for Harry everywhere, they were all calling him but he didn’t answer, he just sent Zayn a text saying he was okay, he just wanted to be left alone for a few hours before the session start.

Zayn felt something was wrong, he knew Harry and he knew he was angry, so he insisted to find him, but everything he did was leading to a dead end.

Finally he surrendered and sent Harry a text telling him That he was waiting for him at the hospital.

Time was passing and Harry was still not there, Zayn was losing his mind, he smoked two packs of cigarettes, and he couldn’t stop pacing the room they were in, so finally Louis decided at the only place that haunted his mind the minute Harry disappeared.

When Louis entered the hospital roof, he was fifty percent sure Harry was here. And fifty percent not sure.  
So when he saw the Harry’s curls flying with the air, he finally took a deep breath and approached him

“ you are using my place more than me" Louis started  
Harry flinched at the start but then he looked at him nd smiled “ I know you could find me"

Louis jumped and sat beside him,

“ what took you so long?” Harry asked looking in front  
“ I gave you your space" Louis answers

Harry frowned and looked at him “you knew I was here?”

Louis nodded “ I did, but I needed to calm Zayn down"

Harry shook his head smiling, then he sighed “ is he okay?”

“ just worried”

Harry nodded “ he has to get used to it"

Louis didn’t talk, he knew what Harry meant

Harry sighed “ I not ready for this"

Louis frowned “ you have to be ready, you have to believe”

Harry looked at him “ believe what? That I will be okay?”

“ yes?" Louis wondered 

Harry smiled “ I know my options Louis , I need a bone marrow transplant and there is no donor to find"

Louis shrugged “ yet. There is no donor yet, but there will be, it just needs time”

Harry looked in front again “ why are you still here"

“ not again" Louis huffed 

Harry looked again at him “ I will not be able to do it"

“ to do what?”

“ be there for you"

Louis getting angry “ you are already here"

Harry sighed “ oh God" then he looked at him eyes hard “ you know the disease Louis, I have been there before I know what it does to you, I know how it kills your spirit slowly I know how I will be, like a zombie, I am gonna lose my hair and I will look awful, I will lose half of my weight, I won’t talk, I won’t laugh.. so why" his voice cracked 

He wiped his tears “ why are you torturing yourself this way”

Louis was watching Harry, he then reached his hand and wiped Harry’s tear by his finger “ I know how it is, I have seen my mom, and I am a doctor , remember? but I am ready to take the risk”

Harry closed his eyes “ you don’t know me"

“ let me know you"

“ what if you love me?”

Harry asked and Louis froze 

“ what if you love me, and I love you back. It will be so hard for both of us to let go"

Louis whispered “ so don’t let go"

Harry let the tears fall freely “ I don’t wanna do this again"

He looked in front “ I can’t do this to you, and my friends , oh God and Zayn, I am the only one he has left. I feel like I am a curse, why me? Why me again?”

Louis swallowed his tears too “ you did it the last time"

Harry looked down “ it was too exhausting. I don’t know if I can again"

“ you have to, you have to try, because there are people who are waiting for you, all they want is you to be okay"

Harry looked at him, and Louis nodded his head “ you have a lot of people who loves you, not just the fans Harry, which their love is true and pure, but I am talking about your friends and family. You have to try for them, you have to try for me, if I am ready to take the risks.i need something in return"

Harry was still looking at his eyes “ will you stay?”

Louis smiled and then he did it without thinking, he kissed Harry in his lips, because how he stop himself in front of those lips, those eyes , Louis's heart was aching, he knew he would witness the struggle, he would witness the pain and the cry and he had to be strong to watch Harry suffer and give him strength, if he was thinking clearly he would accept Harry’s offer and just run away, but there was invisible magnetic that was pulling Louis and Harry towards each other.

Harry pulled back first and took a deep breath, looking shocked and confused at Louis

Louis just smiled “ how is that as a deposit”

Harry giggled, Louis looked at Harry and this man didn’t deserve what was coming 

Louis “ I just need you to promise you will fight"

Harry finally nodded “ I will"

Louis nodded “ good, I think you should go down now because your brother is literally losing his mind"

Harry giggled again wiping his tears with his palms and Louis couldn’t help it but watch the man in front of him and praying for a miracle to happen

**** 

When Harry entered the room where Zayn was, Zayn jumped and hugged him tightly, then he cupped his face looking at him “ you are okay?”

Harry smiled “ I am sorry” then he looked around him and there were Liam, Niall , Gigi, Sophie

He smiled at them and said again “ I am sorry, I think I just needed a few hours to think. Not gonna happen again"

NIALL smiled and said cheerfully “ don’t apologize Haza, we are glad you are fine"

Harry slowly nodded trying to hold back the tears, Louis noticed so he walked and stood by his side and held his hand and pressed softly 

Liam was watching and when his eyes met Harry’s eyes he smiled widely at him

“ are you ready?” Zayn asked 

Harry took a deep breath and looked at Louis who nodded and whispered “ I will be here”

Harry nodded and looked at Zayn

“ I guess I am"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Small chapter but I had to end it this way, they are begging their journey together now


	8. Chapter 8

Hello guys how are you?

I am so sorry but I can't keep writing this one, I don't know I lost interest in it and I can't think of anything good at this moment, I am so sorry maybe I will come back soon 

Please don't hate me 

All the love


	9. Chapter 9

“ here we are again back to you, after listening to this amazing new song of Selena Gomez which is called back to you" 

Louis heard Laim saying through the radio, he was driving his car and it was late. He just finished his night shift and he was on his way to get his husband

 

“ that was a beautiful song, wasn’t it?” Louis chuckled once he heard Harry said through the microphone, he knew Harry hated Selena. He met her few years ago and she gave him the cold shoulder so ever since then and he decided he wasn’t a fan, even the time she was their guest he didn’t show up and he let Liam to host this episode alone.

“ tell me Harry, do you think it’s true that maybe some couple are not together anymore but they are just dying to be together” 

Louis frowned, he had heard the song before, and it’s about thinking and loving your old love “ or in Louis's mind ex" no matter what happened between them

“ it depends" Harry started and Louis frowned harder 

“ sometimes you just fall in love with the right person who really can make it up for you, no old lovers no old exes could pass your mind whole you are with him" 

Liam whistled “ I feel you are talking about yourself”

“ indeed I am talking about myself” he laughed “ you know my love for my husband is very... very true Liam. We are honest with each others, there is no secret between each other. So no when I am with him ever since he entered my life it is only him"

Louis smiled now with tears in his eyes

“ I know you love him" Liam said 

“ I do, he is my everything, my love, my life, my saviour.. He is my secret place" Harry’s voice cracked while saying the last words and it deeply wrenched Louis' heart.

He always says those words about him whenever he is mentioned, he knew that because everyone met Harry heard those lovely words about Louis. Lot of people when they could recognize him they tell him they already love him because of Harry’s words, even his sisters said the loved him even more when Harry talked about him.

Okay, maybe he saved Harry's life, but Harry showed Louis what life means.

“ I can’t disagree with you Harry, Louis is a bless" Liam said and Louis felt Harry smiled “ I guess I am the luckiest man alive"

Liam “ you are, and we are happy for you Hazza"

Louis's phone went off he turned the radio off and answers without checking the caller

“ Louis Tomlinson” Louis said

 

“ where are you baby?” 

Louis frowned “ Harry? Aren’t you on air?” 

Harry giggled “ well I am, but I took a break.. had to use the loo"

And Louis knew he got emotional and he was crying “ are you okay?” Louis asked softly

“ yeah sure.. I am just waiting for you" 

Louis smiled “ I am on my way.. give me fifteen minutes”

“ good, how was your day?”

Louis giggled too “ Harry, what are you doing? You are on air"

“ Liam handles it very well without me, he will be okay, it’s not his first”

And Louis winced at this but he also frowned, there was something wrong with Harry “ baby are you okay? What is wrong?”

Harry took a deep breath “ nothing.. I promise, I am .. shit, I probably shouldn’t tell you this"

“ tell me what?” Louis heart dropped 

“ relax, it’s nothing important I promise, I am fine"

“ I know you are fine, I have your check up results”

“ and?” Harry asked 

“ it’s.. it’s very good" Louis said hesitated 

“ They are the same right?” Harry asked disappointed  
Harry was not completely healed, he made the transplantation and he was doing okay at the start year and half ago, his numbers were doing great, he was feeling great, then around ten months ago, he was about to collapse again, although he didn’t and became okay again, but his numbers weren’t okay, there were ups and downs and that lead to being in hospital most of the times. Eventually he was okay, but he got depressed.

“ Harry, you are okay baby, don’t stress yourself out, you have got my immune system now so you will be totally okay" Harry laughed at that “ yes, you are right"

Louis smiled “ so what did you want to tell me?”

Harry sighed “ I didn’t take my medicine today"

Louis frowned “ what are you talking about? I have them to you this morning”

Harry “ the others Louis..”

Louis “ oh" 

Harry meant the drugs for his depression, Louis hated those drugs like Harry did. It was making him as a zombie and they were making him soulless. 

“ why?” Louis asked although he knew why   
Harry didn’t answer, Louis inhaled deeply “ it’s okay, was it just today?”

“ no"

“ oh Harry”

“ this week"

“ full week?” Louis gasped “ but Harry, why? We talked about it baby, you knew you can’t do that" 

He heard Harry huffed through the phone “ okay, you know what, we will talk about it later.. I will be with you in ten, okay?”

“ okay"

“ love you”

“ love you too"

Then Louis hanged up, he wasn’t angry, he never gets angry from Harry, but he was confused. Why Harry stopped taking his medicine, and what about the sessions, did he also stopped? Louis missed the last three one because of his work, but he made sure Harry was there, he asked him every time about it and Harry always answered.

Louis picked his phone again and he dialled a number

“ hello , Dr Martin.. yes Louis Tomlinson... you were?” 

he was frowning “ yes , yes he is okay” he closed his eyes for a second and he took deep breath “ yes doctor, I will make sure he will go. Thanks. Bye”

And what was going on in Harry’s mind, why wasn’t he going to his sessions. He needed then. During his treatment he was physically and mentally bad. And he needed to heal equally.

Louis shook his head, he didn’t want to think about it now, because now they were supposed to have dinner out with their friends to celebrate Zayn and Gigi first anniversary.

They married before Harry and Louis by about four months. Harry was still feeling bad, and he could barely attend the wedding. Zayn wanted to delay it and Gigi wanted to cancel it for now and they can marry without a bid ceremony, but Harry insisted to do the wedding in its time and he promised he would never missed it. He didn’t but he was very exhausted and tired, he faked everything, and no one knew what he was really feeling except for Louis who didn’t leave his side the whole wedding.

Louis parked his car down the studio, he took a deep breath before getting outside his car. He didn’t want to upset Harry he knew he was already not okay.

When he entered the studio, Harry was drinking something and talking with Liam, he was sitting around the table and lots of papers were in front of them. Louis looked at Harry but Harry still didn’t notice him. He was different. He looked better, maybe that’s why Louis missed that he wasn’t going to his therapist. He looked healthier he even finally gained some of the weight he lost during the treatment. His hair was now in good place. Harry loves his hair long, so when his hair started to fall he was completely devastated that he stopped leaving his house for a complete two months, Louis finally convinced him to go with him outside and he promised him nothing will happen, he promised him he was still the most handsome and attractive man alive, finally Harry approved and gradually he started to gain his confident back. Sondheim his hair started to grow up again, he made an oath he will nerve cut it, and right now it was on its way to his ear. 

Louis smiled when he saw Harry was smiling, with dimples and that pink lips that finally regained its colour. His eyes were deeply green again, it became back to life again Louis was really grateful for this moment. Harry was here sitting in front of him alone with no help, nothing hooked in his body. He looked fine not in pain. He was smiling and laughing sincerely not faking it. He was grateful that he got to see Harry happy again, sincerely happy. 

“ Louis you are here?” someone said from behind and Louis looked behind him, it was their director. 

Louis smiled and greeted the man, then he felt Harry was right behind him, so he turned and faced him   
“ hay baby" Harry said painting a soft kiss on his cheek   
Louis smiled “ hay, love" 

Then Liam who was behind Harry said “ hay Louis.. ready?”

Louis yawned “ yeah I am”

Liam laughed “ sleepy?”

Harry smiled and embraced Louis “ we won’t stay long, just an hour I promise" Louis smiled back at Harry, he liked how he tried to take care of him .

“ it’s okay, I can stand n hour”

Harry “ great, let’s go then"

******* 

The dinner was very warm, they were all family and close friends having dinner together to celebrate Gigi and Zayn, Gigi that was heavy pregnant now looking gorgeous as always. Louis noticed tears in Harry’s eyes when he was watching his brother and his wife talking about the name of the kid, they wanted to name him Harry but Harry refused, then they chose Harold and said they will also call him Harry, Harry just smiled and wiped his tears away.

At the middle of the dinner, Louis excused to use the bathroom. When.He finished his business, and went out of the stall, Zayn was there and apparently waiting for Louis.

Louis saw him and he frowned “ everything okay?”

Zayn “ yeah, yeah.. it’s fine. NIALL just told me about the results”

Louis nodded and walked to the faucet to wash his hands “ yeah what about them? They are okay"

Zayn huffed “ they are not good too"

Louis looked at Zayn through the mirror, over the last year and a half he had thousands of fights with Zayn about Harry’s health. Zayn wanted to do whatever it takes to save Harry no matter what Harry felt or wanted. And Louis just wanted Harry as comfortable and he could. Harry chose Louis to take care of him and he trusted his decisions and judgements. And of course Zayn was getting angry every time they chose something against his wish.

“ Zayn, we talked about it. We will wait and see"

“ wait till when Louis, till he collapse again"

Louis huffed “ he will not collapse, I will make sure he will not collapse” the he looked at him “ you have to calm down Zayn, you are about to be a father so you need to focus on your wife nd your coming kid"

“ he is my brother” he snapped 

“ and my husband” Louis said sternly, then he took another deep breath “ the one and only, the one I love. So I want him to be okay and healthy too. I need you to trust me in this, the results are fine he still needs time, he only recovered five months ago. Of course he didn’t gain his full power, of course his body still suffers.. But look at him Zayn. He is happy and alive. He gained weight his hair is growing back. Come on give him some time to breath and then when things didn’t improve we will worry"

Zayn was listening, then he looked down and finally nodded, he looked again at Louis “ I am sorry.. for snapping at you"

Louis smiled “ are you Kidding? I live for this moments” 

Then Zayn also smiled “ sorry"

Louis shook his head “ no Don’t, he is your brother, I understand”

 

******* 

When Louis and Zayn went back to the table, Louis almost froze, because right beside Harry, Nick was sitting. On Lousi' place.

They were simply talking, and Louis started to boil from inside. During Harry's treatment, Nick true to gain Harry back. He tried to show up every time he had a session, he was visiting them a Lot and even after their engagement he didn’t stop. Louis talked to him a lot about it but Nick was just teasing him all the time. Until that one night, three months after their marriage, Harry was doing okay and then Nick showed at their house. Louis wasn’t there and Nick knew he was not home. So he pretended taking care of Harry and actually Harry didn’t even care. And suddenly he kissed him.  
Harry went crazy and he fought with Nick and Louis came while They were fighting, Harry told him what happened and Louis couldn’t stop himself, he punched Nick on the face and then Nick left and he never showed up again. 

When Louis made him self clear to Harry and Nick, Nick looked at him and then he smiled and stood up leaving the whole place.

Louis frowned still watching him, then he looked at Harry who was looking at the table deep thinking. Then Louis sat beside him

“ are you okay?” 

Harry looked at him “ yeah, I am fine”

“ what was he doing here?” 

HARRY shrugged, then he took a deep breath “ he was here and he wanted to check on me and say hi”

“ say hi?” Louis was angry 

Harry put his hand on his thigh “ please, there is nothing to talk about, I don’t to fight over him again"

Louis bit his lower lip “ fine, fine . Not now"

“ not ever Louis. Don't make it a big deal" Harry almost whispered. 

Louis nodded and looked in front again, he was angry at Harry, he always feel Harry got defensive when it came to Nick. He always said Nick was his ex husband and somehow he still respects him. So every time they fight about Nick, he always feel he looses the fight and Nick wins. He feels he still has a place in Harry’s heart. That was scaring him and also making him extremely jealous.

Louis decided to stop talking to Harry till the end of the day. He didn’t want to talk to him to fight. And Harry was already not feeling okay, so he didn’t want to make it worse. 

No one noticed anything, finally they said goodbyes and they were in the car in complete silence. Louis thought that Harry might talk to explain what happened. But to his surprise Harry didn’t talk instead he was looking through the window and then he closed his eyes. Louis looked at him and didn’t know if he was sleeping or he was just ignoring him.

When they arrived home He knew Harry was sleeping. He wake him up and he headed towards the house leaving Harry behind to follow. He didn’t . Louis' heart almost dropped when he didn’t find Harry behind him and he rushed outside again but Harry was talking on the phone. Louis got furious and he moved back inside heading to the bathroom directly. When he finally moved out the bathroom, Harry was sitting on the bed in his bed clothes and that was weird, Harry always take a his shower before sleep, even when he was sick he always took his shower. Now he was getting ready to sleep he didn’t even brush his teeth 

“ aren’t you brushing your teeth?” Louis had to sat something. Harry looked at him and nodded and then he headed to the bathroom.

Louis waited for Harry on the bed for long maybe too long or maybe not, he was very sleepy and he slept while waiting.

****** 

Louis opened his eyes to an empty bed, there was no Harry beside him, and the place was cold. Harry didn’t sleep?

Louis left his bed and he headed downstairs, he wanted to find Harry he was getting worried. And when he entered the kitchen he found Harry already was there making breakfast. When he saw Louis he smiled 

“ good morning sleepy head"

Louis looked at him confused

“ go take your shower, breakfast is almost done”

“ Harry what are you doing?” Louis asked 

Harry shrugged “ making breakfast?”

“ you didn’t sleep”

Harry shook his head “ no I did, but you were deeply sleeping you didn’t feel me cuddling you" he smiled   
Louis frowned but then he nodded, Harry.” Of you go, I will finish"

 

Then Louis finally nodded and left the kitchen.

When he returned again to the kitchen Harry had already sat the table and was waiting for him   
Louis smiled to him and sat in front, he was getting nervous he felt there was something wrong. It’s not like Harry never set the table for them or made breakfast, but Harry really was being weird 

“ how was your sleep?” Louis asked while sitting  
Harry nodded pouring them the hot tea “ good, I slept fine"

Louis nodded and thanked him while taking his tea, Harry looked at him eyes glowing “ so what are we doing today?”

Louis smiled “ what do you mean"

“ you have a day off, so we need to use it"

Louis “ okay, why exactly do you want?”

Harry shrugged “ anything, as long as we are together”

Louis nodded, he then put his tea down, he looked at Harry “ okay, but first I need to tell you something”

Harry frowned and put his tea down 

“ I called your doctor last night" 

Harry sighed and then nodded “ I know you would"

Louis bit his lower lip waiting for Harry s rage but it didn’t come

“ I am okay” he said 

“ I don’t think it’s you who decide that Harry”

“ God Louis, why can’t you let us have some fun" he groaned 

" what do you mean?"

" it's my life, my fucking life. I can live it the way I want, I don't need you or any one else to tell me what to do"

Louis was shocked at the start and then he said “ what is the wrong with you? One minute you a ‘re telling the world that I am your life and the next you don’t even want me in your life"

Harry huffed furiously “ then stop being an asshole Louis and stop treating me like a kid"

Louis was furious, he stood up hitting the table by his fist “ you are the asshole, stop being a kid so I can stop treating you as one.. it has been hell Harry every day for me to make you have your medicine , for standing your continuous complaining and trying to make you feel better. You had spent days without talking to me Harry, we were just married and you chose to stop talking to me.. And finally when you are starting to feel okay you decide that you don’t need your therapy anymore"

Harry yelled “ I didn’t ask for your help"

“ God damn it stop being an idiot, what is wrong with you" he yelled back

“ nothing.. nothing us wrong with me.. I have barely survived a death experiment Louis I don’t Have to explain it to you" he said sarcastically

“ God not again" Louis rubbed his face angrily “ I have been there too Harry, I wasn’t sick but I was feeling your pain. I don’t deserve this, not because I care about you, you give me shit”

And then there was silence.

“ I am sorry “ Harry started “ I need to be alone” Louis was looking at Harry shockingly “ what? What did you say?”

Harry looked at him “ it’s not... I just.. I need to breath"

“ and I am holding you back? Is that what you are trying to say, after all what we had been through? After what I did for you"

And Louis really didn’t mean to say it this way

“ I didn’t ask you to save my life, I didn’t ask you to be my donor Louis, so stop being a dick and remind me of your great sacrifice” and that was harsh 

Louis looked down, he didn’t want to continue in this, he didn't want to hurt Harry and he didn’t want Harry to hurt him. He knew he didn’t mean any of this . But he couldn’t go on in this.

“ I am going to Paris" Harry started “ for a few days, it’s about the show.. we will have to broadcast from Paris”

Louis looked at him, Harry closed his eyes “ I don’t need you to worry about me, I will take my medicine and Liam will be there"

Louis was still watching Harry, he didn’t know why he was acting so strange 

Louis was breathing fast, he was worried and he was scared “ what are you doing?”

Harry looked at him “ nothing Louis it's just a regular work trip, don’t make it a big deal. It’s my job you know my job and you know what it takes”

“ yes I do, okay Harry. When?” Louis had to give up 

“ tomorrow”

“ what? Are you kidding me? You are telling me now?”

Harry nodded “ I am not asking for a permission Louis, I am just telling you.. God you are like him"

And that was the end 

Louis didn’t feel himself yelling, he was extremely angry, he was furious, and no he wouldn’t let Harry compare him with Nick 

“ hell no Harry, you didn’t” Louis yelled “ you didn't just said that"

Harry looked down, Louis “ what the hell is wrong with you? What did he even tell you last night?”

“ god” Harry yelled angrily “ why we are talking about him?”

“ you just mentioned him. Are you fucking kidding me? Are you comparing me with this peace of shit, who had cheated on you for years”

arry closed his eyes “ Louis stop"

“ no. I am not, because this is what you get when say bullshit like this. Cause I am nothing like Nick.. I am way better than him, he called pathetic for God sake .. He thought you deserve what he did to you, what have I done to you? What bad I did?”

Harry was looking at Louis, he was calm “ Louis.. I am done, I am not talking about Nick again with you"

And then he left the kitchen leaving Louis alone who was shaking from anger. Louis didn’t know what to do wanted to scream and yell, what was wrong with his husband? What just happened? He was so angry that he threw the glasses in front of him.

******* 

It was the middle of the night, Harry still didn’t come back home. Louis looked for him everywhere and he called Zayn and Liam. Liam told him he was with Harry and there was no need to worry.

Louis was on his bed calling Harry for the twentieth time . Harry didn’t answer. Then Louis phone went off  
It was Niall

“ hello Niall"

“ what the hell is your husband?” Niall said 

Louis frowned “ why?”

“ check his instagram “

And Louis did. But he didn’t expect to see Harry had posted several pictures of him smiling and laughing and dancing with the one and only Nicholas Grimshaw.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Small chapter but I am back

Louis didn’t sleep, he couldn’t, Harry was still not home and still not answering the phones. Louis called Liam and Liam told him he drove Harry home five hours ago so Louis didn’t mention anything about the Instagram photos and Liam seemed had no idea.

So Louis had to do the thing he never expected he would ever do, calling Nick.

He couldn’t believe that Harry had him do this but he was worried about Harry and he needed to make sure Harry was okay.

It was seven in the morning and Louis was very exhausted and worried and angry. So he didn’t know how the phone would work but he needed to do it anyway.

“ hello" Nick answered seemed sleeping

Louis closed his eyes to control his anger “ Grimshaw.. do you know where Harry is?” straight to the point

He felt shuffles and he knew Nick was in his bed maybe “ Louis? Is that you"

Louis huffed in frustration “ yes, it’s me. So do you know?”

“ shit, I thought he told you. Fuck that’s maked sense" 

And louis's heart dropped “ Nick, where is he? Tell me he is okay”

“ relax.. He is okay, he is .. actually he is.. sleeping here" he was hesitant

“ what?” Louis said shocked 

Louis heard Nick sighing “ we were drunk and he drove me home, I was worried he couldn’t drive so I told him to call you and wait for you so you pick him up... Next thing he told me you couldn’t come and he will stay with me”

Louis couldn’t say a word, because this was a lot. He couldn’t believe this, all he had in his mind was why?  
“ Louis, are you still here"

Louis bit his lip hard that he tasted blood “ is he still sleeping?”

“ yeah"

“ good, don't wake him up" and he hanged up without waiting for Nick response, he took keys and wallet, his cell phone. He wore his shoes and he didn’t care to change his clothes, he was wearing a sweatpants and a jumper. He ran to his car still angry and still shaking. He needed answers, he needed to know why? Why was Harry doing this to him? 

 

******* 

 

He parked his car and he rushed outside it to Nick's house. Then he stopped actually he froze by his car thinking. What can he do.if he knew there was something that happened between Harry and Nick, what exactly he should do, normally he would punch Harry in the face and leave him, but he wouldn’t do this he couldn’t, nut because Harry was sick a year ago but because he loved Harry so much that he couldn’t believe that Harry might hurt him this way.

Louis took a deep breath and he saw Harry’s car parking awkwardly in front of Nick house. He shook his head in disbelief. Again he hated Harry to put him in this position. Then he rang the bell.

Few seconds and Nick opened the door holding a cup of coffee, he looked ashamed somehow and that Louis didn’t like. He gave a room for Louis to enter and Louis did so Nick closed the door behind him 

“ I think he wake up... I heard moving upstairs”

Louis frowned looking at Nick, upstairs? Did they sleep together at the same room 

“ I couldn’t let him sleep in the couch.. I know how a bad back he has" Nick started again “ I took the couch"

Relieved? Maybe but still angry.

“ come on let's have a cup of tea" Nick walked and Louis followed him to the kitchen. He didn't want any tea he just needed Harry .

Nick poured Louis some tea, and he waved to Louis to sit in the table, finally Louis did sat but he was still trying to find the right words to say. 

Nick sat in front of Louis and gave him his tea, Louis took it and put it in front .

“ nothing happened” Nick started and Louis snapped his head up to him, Nick continued “ in case if you were asking"

“ I wasn’t” Louis said hastily.

Nick was watching Louis, he nodded finally and took a deep breath “ he is not okay though”

Louis frowned, Nick “ Harry has this .. mood, when he feels he is stuck with something his mind gives him ideas about running away" 

And what the fuck he was talking about 

“ stuck?” Louis asked “ stuck in what? With me?” Louis asked angry 

Nick “ no, that’s not what I said, but I know Harry and I know how he thinks, there is something in his mind"

“ fuck you" Louis whispered leaving his chair “ don’t fucking pretend you know him"

Nick huffed “ I am not pretending Louis I know him, I had been married to him ofrand years. there is something with him, he doesn’t feel okay.. not physically I mean"

“ oh God” Louis chuckled “ look who is talking? The man who put Harry in misery for years.. do you think I would ever believe that you really care about him"

Nick shrugged “ I don’t care" and that answer surprised Louis, but Nick was a strong man with a very unique personality “ if I care or if I don’t care why are you so obsessed with this?"

Fuck him 

Louis opened his mouth to answer, but Nick said “ it’s not about me, we are talking about him and obviously he is suffering”

“ suffering? Are you serious? Are you saying that I am...”

“ I am not saying anything about you Louis, and again it’s not about you. Explain to me why among all of the people he knows he chose me to stay the night with"

“ what?”

“ he called me last night and he wanted to meet"

And no, this was really bad. Harry calling Nick? Seriously Nick?

“ I asked him about you and he said...”

“ enough"

It wasn’t Louis who talked, it was Harry 

Both Nick and Louis looked at Harry who was standing at the door frame 

Harry was looking at Louis angrily “ what are you doing here?”

“ seriously?” Louis answered “ it has to be me who ask this question”

Harry huffed in frustration “ how did you know I am here Louis"

Louis almost yelled “ WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING AT YOU EX BED?”

Harry looked at Louis, he shook his head and he walked out of the kitchen

Louis ran after him and he grasped his forearm Turing Harry to ace him “ you are not leaving me"

Harry looked at Louis, and then at Nick then back at Louis “ let’s go home" 

“ I am not going anywhere I need to know what are you doing here?”

Harry sighed then said sternly “ let’s talk at home Louis"

Louis bit his lip, and then he stormed outside pushing Harry by his shoulder.

*******

When they reached their home, each in his car. Louis stormed inside while Harry followed him. Closing the door behind him. He took a long deep breath before turning to face Louis who was looking at him waiting.  
Then he looked at Louis 

“ how did you know?” he started

“ does it matter?” Louis asked calmly

Harry sighed “ maybe"

Louis chewed his lip trying to read his husband, then he finally huffed saying “ your Instagram, you posted some photos of you together” Harry closed his eyes realizing what he did while he wasn’t even thinking, he couldn’t remember anything but he didn’t need to check to believe Louis.

“ I just.. I need to know what is going on? Is this okay? Are we okay?” Louis asked desperately, it was all his mind could think of

Harry didn’t talk, Louis asked again “ what did I do"

Harry shook his head “ you didn’t do anything”

“ then what? You feel you are stuck with me? Am I holding you back?”

“ of course not" Harry said frowning 

“ then what?” Louis yelled 

Harry didn’t move his eyes from Louis but he also didn’t speak, Louis took a step closer “ Harry, please.. I need to understand what is happening? You are here and not here at the same time, you love me and then don't at the same day I need to know what is happening because I can’t”

Harry looked down tears on his cheeks now, Louis saw the tears and he almost lose his mind “ Harry .. please tell me, you said it, you said we are honest with each other.. Be honest with me and tell me"

Again Harry didn’t talk 

“ Harry.. did you.. did you do something? Did you cheat on me?” 

But Harry cried harder that he covered his mouth and Louis' heart stopped. He looked at his husband shaking and shocked, he didn’t know why to feel, angry or confused, but he felt awful and he couldn't breath 

“ you didn’t? Right? You can’t Harry, you didn’t”

But Harry was still looking down, and Louis couldn’t look at him anymore, he turned his back and he took a deep breath, because right now Louis couldn’t really breath, he couldn’t move or think, he couldn’t live.

“ I am sorry” Harry finally I said

But Louis didn’t look him, Louis looked down and cried,because among all the things he thought about his husband, cheating wasn’t an option. He did realized his husband was different, he noticed he was not himself. But there were those moment when Harry surrounded Louis with love and care, he was lost and he wasn't able to think clearly.

“ I m gonna back my stuff and... And I will go" Harry said leaving the place. 

Louis walked to the kitchen he needed to calm himself, he washed his face nd he didn’t care to wipe it, he took some deep breaths in and out, and then no. No .

He wouldn't let him go without any explanation, he wouldn’t let Harry hurt him this much and go, no.

He stormed upstairs to their big bedroom, he slammed the door opened and he saw Harry was there putting his stuff in the bag looking at Louis startled

“ hell no" Louis yelled “ no Harry, I am not letting you go this easy, what Did you do? Who did you cheat on me with? With Fucking Grimmy?”

Then Louis held Harry from his collar “ answer me God Damn it” but Harry was looking down, he was crying and he was letting Louis doing what he wanted to do.

“ give me the name Harry , say something” he yelled crying now but again Harry didn’t talk 

Louis let him and he took a few steps away “ you are pathetic Harry, I don’t deserve this, I did you no harm and you ran to the arms of the man who cheated on you over and over.. you know what? he was right. you are pathetic and you deserve what he did to you” Louis heart ached

He heard Harry gasped but he didn’t care , he said “ I did everything I could for you, I took the last year off for you, I isolate myself from all the surrounding, from my friends and my family to stay by your side to help you to get better . I saved your pathetic life for what?” he chuckled “ so I can see you living your fucking life cheating on me" 

Then he looked at Harry who was crying silently, he shook his head “ I am so disgusted by you Harry, you are disgusting human being and I feel sorry for you because you don’t deserve what you have in life, you are ruining your life and mine and you are not even sorry”

Then he smiled he did smiled shaking his life “ oh my God, wow.. really wow.” Then he looked again at Harry who was sniffing 

“ I regret every minute I had with you, I regret meeting you Harry” 

Then he left the room without turning back although he heard Harry sobbing hard.

Maybe he didn’t mean any words, maybe he meant some. But after all he was shocked and hurt and he couldn’t believe that Harry the one he loved the one that he was ready to sacrifice his life to save him if he could , did actually cheated on him. He didn’t believe that it was his Harry , the one that always told him that he was his saviour, his life , his love.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short chapter so you won't hate Harry, or me :)

It was early morning when Louis wake up on the door bell ringing and someone was obviously banging on the door.

He huffed in frustration because he knew who was this, who was ready to fight at six in the morning, it was Zayn.

Louis finally left his bed and he walked to the door, he took a deep breath before opening it and then he felt he was hit on The chest.

Zayn pushed his on his chest yelling “ what the hell Louis? I was trying to call you? Why didn’t you answer?”  
Louis didn’t talk, he walked by him and he closed the door 

Zayn was still yelling “ he is in Paris, you let him go to Paris in this state, you know it’s not good to go, you know he can’t. What if he caught any infection? Why are you always this careless?”

Louis was watching Zayn as calm as he could, he didn’t flinch, he didn’t try to calm Zayn, he didn’t even tried to argue.

He left Zayn and he walked to the kitchen and he was ready for his morning coffee. His head was killing him from all the thinking and the cries he did last night, he couldn’t sleep until he took a pill from Harry’s sleeping drug.

Zayn followed him but he wasn’t angry he was confused

“ Louis, are you okay?”

And Louis was surprised, Zayn never asked if Louis was okay or not, he only cared about his brother and his brother alone.

Louis preparing his coffee ignoring Zay n, but Zay n walked and stood beside him “ did you guys fight?”  
Louis was still ignoring, 

“ guys, can anyone please talk to me?” Zayn huffed in frustration “ I tried to call him but he didnot answer then Finally Liam answered me and he was the one who told me they were in Paris"

Nothing, and Louis wished that Zayn just shut up  
“ what is wrong with you? Say something” Zayn was getting angry. 

Louis walked away and sat on the table looking away. Zayn walked and sat beside him “ Louis, is everything okay?”

Louis finally shrugged “ I don’t know"

“ what do you mean?”

“ I mean.. I don’t know, he was at Nick's bed sleeping the other night and when I confront him he didn’t deny it"

Zayn was looking at Louis shockingly “ wha"

“ you heard me Zayn”

“ Nick? As Grimshaw?” he was still shocked 

Louis nodded 

“ did they? Fuck .. no did they slept together?”

Louis again shrugged “ Nick Said nothing happened, but he says he cheated"

“ what? He told you so?”

Again Louis nodded 

“ no" Zayn shook his head “ no, not Harry, not with you,no"

“ well that what he said" Louis snapped

Zayn looked at him “ I ... But I don’t understand, why?”

Louis sighed “ it’s him who you should ask this question Zayn, because I did everything I could..” he chuckled “ I was ready to do anything else to make him happy, maybe that was not enough, maybe he didn’t want me after all"

Zayn shook his head “ no that’s impossible Louis, he loves you I know that, everyone know that.. I don’t know what is happening with him"

Louis closed his eyes and squeezed them by his fingers “ I feel like I am having a nightmare, we are old enough for this Zayn, we are not kids” he looked at Zayn “ I didn’t want to believe it, I really didn’t.. But he I asked him and he didn’t deny"

Zayn frowned “ so he didn’t tell you he was cheating?”

Louis groaned “ it doesn’t matter Zayn, I asked him and he didn’t deny"

“ but it does matter Louis, maybe he...”

“ he didn’t deny it, he didn’t try to explain anything. Why he was with Nick? What did they do that night? Why didn’t he call me?”

“ I don’t know Louis, but I am sure he has an explanation”

“ he is not saying anything Zayn, he doesn’t want to explain, not to me" Louis said angrily leaving the table , he huffed “ it hurts”

Zayn left his set and stood by Louis “ I know, trust me I know. But this is not my brother, her never cheats, it’s no him... I don’t know why is wrong but something is happening”

Louis knew something as happening, that wasn’t Harry he knew but again his heart ached, Harry hurt hi and then he left him alone to his anger, he cheated on him and Louis didn’t know how to forgive that.

.......... 

 

Louis just finished a long surgery by himself since Zayn took two days off. Louis didn’t care to know why, although he had a clue. When he heard to Harry's show from Paris Liam hosted the show alone saying that Harry wasn’t feeling right , and something in Liam's voice made Louis worried so much . He even called Liam to check on Harry but Liamq didn’t answer and he couldn’t call Harry, so he knew that Zayn was in Paris right now checking his brother and that calmed Louis maybe a little bit.

Louis entered the stuff room, he needed some rest and maybe some coffee, be still had lots of work and his mind was killing him and he wasn’t in the mood for anything.

He sat in the couch and he closed his eyes for a second, just for a second. The door was opened and he really didn’t want any company maybe If he pretended sleeping no one would bother him.

“ I know you are awake, so open your eyes and talk to me"

Louis snapped his eyes opened, cause right in front of him was Grimshaw and he was angry 

“ I told you nothing happened between us, it was just a talk so there really was no need to tell his brother that I have slept with him"

Louis rolled his eyes “ stop lying Nick, I know you did"

Nick almost yelled “ I said nothing happened”

“ you slept with him" Louis said angrily

“ well I guess I will remember something like this"

Louis huffed in frustration but he began to feel suspicious “ why were you with him then?”

“ because he called me, he said he needed to talk not to fuck” then he shook his head in frustration “ I told you what happened, believe it or not I don’t care. But stop your illusions and put me out of your mind”

And that was it 

“ they are not my illusions, he told me"

Nick was suddenly shocked “ what? He told you?”

“ yes Nick, he told me He cheated on me with you"

“ he didn't" Nick said, then he looked at Louis “ he didn’t I swear to God, nothing happened”

Louis now was shocked, Nick shook his head “ shit, why did he tell you this? Why did he want to end it?” then he froze

He looked at Louis “ do you know where is he?”

Louis was scared, he had the same idea with Nick and it was bad 

Nick “ do you?”

Louis tried to speak “ he .. He is in Paris"

“ are you sure?” Nick was frantic

“ I guess Zayn is there with him"

 

******** 

Harry was sleeping on his big bad t the hotel room, he didn’t move a muscle since he called Liam this morning telling him he wwasn’t feelings okay and he won’t host the show today. He wasn’t lying though, he didn’t feel okay , he threw up and he had a terrible migraine and he could barely open his eyes. He couldn't stop thinking of Louis, Louis' eyes, Louis' words. He hurt Louis and he knew his husband never meant anything of what he has spoken. He hurt Louis but he knew that was for the best. Hurt him now better than latter. 

The door knocked and he groaned, no he didn’t need any room service , he didn’t need any food. He didn’t need anything.

But the knocks never stopped and finally he had to go to open The door.

When he opened the door he froze, Zayn was right in front of him looking at him 

“ Zayn?”

Zayn entered and closed the door behind him, he was ready to yell at Harry but the was Harry looked stopped Zayn from even thinking

“ are you okay?” Zayn asked 

“not really" Harry answered returning to his bed 

“ what do you feel?” Zayn asked 

Harry looked at him “ just headache..”

He closed his eye to control the need to vomit right now.

Zayn was staring at him , Harry knew he was beginning to feel worry and he knew he needed to say something “ I am okay" he said looking at Zayn

Zayn didn’t move his eyes, and Harry finally sighed “ why are you here Zayn?”

Zayn finally said “ you know why”

Harry nodded and looked down, he really wanted to close his eyes now, the light was killing him “ you talked to him?”

“ you cheated on him" Zayn said 

Harry looked at Zayn shocked, then he looked down again.

“ I know you didn’t” Zayn said “ but why did you tell him that?”

Harry felt tears formed in his eyes and he couldn’t face his brother “ please, tell me what is going on?”

Harry wiped his tears 

“ Harry, I know you could be stupid sometimes or a real twat but I know you are not a cheater and especially not to Louis”

Harry looked at Zayn “ how is he?” he asked 

Zayn “ what do you expect? He is hurt and broken"

“ he will be okay” Harry Said 

Zayn “ what are you talking about? Aren’t you fixing this"

Harry finally sighed and he left his bed, he looked at Zayn “ I can’t fix this"

“ you didn’t cheat Harry, just tell him the truth"

“ I can’t”

Zayn looked at his brother shockingly “ Harry, what is wrong with you? What did you do?”

“ I love him Zayn" Harry whispered, “ and I didn’t cheat on him, but I can’t come back to him"

“ why?”

But Harry took a step backwards and was ready to leave when Zayn grabbed his wrist making Harry look at him “ why?” he asked again 

Harry was crying, he shook his head and he left Zayn and left the whole room.


	12. Chapter 12

Harry was sleeping on his big bad t the hotel room, he didn’t move a muscle since he called Liam this morning telling him he wwasn’t feelings okay and he won’t host the show today. He wasn’t lying though, he didn’t feel okay , he threw up and he had a terrible migraine and he could barely open his eyes.

 

The door knocked and he groaned, no he didn’t need any room service , he didn’t need any food. He didn’t need anything.

 

But the knocks never stopped and finally he had to go to open The door.

 

When he opened the door he froze, Zayn was right in front of him looking at him 

 

“ Zayn?”

 

Zayn entered and closed the door behind him, he was ready to yell at Harry but the was Harry looked stopped Zayn from even thinking

 

“ are you okay?” Zayn asked 

 

“not really" Harry answered returning to his bed 

 

“ what do you feel?” Zayn asked 

 

Harry looked at him “ just headache..”

 

He closed his eye to control the need to vomit right now.

 

Zayn was staring at him , Harry knew he was beginning to feel worry and he knew he needed to say something “ I am okay" he said looking at Zay n

 

Zayn didn’t move his eyes, and Harry finally sighed “ why are you here Zayn?”

 

Zayn finally said “ you know why”

 

Harry nodded and looked down, he really wanted to close his eyes now, the light was killing him “ you talked to him?”

 

“ you cheated on him" Zayn said 

 

Harry looked at Zayn shocked, then he looked down again.

 

“ I know you didn’t” Zayn said “ but why did you tell him that?”

 

Harry felt tears formed in his eyes and he couldn’t face his brother “ please, tell me what is going on?”

 

Harry wiped his tears 

 

“ Harry, I know you could be stupid sometimes or a real twat but I know you are not a cheater and especially not to Louis”

 

Harry looked at Zayn “ how is he?” he asked 

 

Zayn “ what do you expect? He is hurt and broken"

 

“ he will be okay”

 

Zayn “ what are you talking about? Aren’t you fixing this"

 

Harry finally sighed and he left his bed, he looked at Zayn “ I can’t fix this"

 

“ you didn’t cheat Harry, just tell him the truth"

 

“ I can’t”

Zayn looked at his brother shockingly “ Harry, what is wrong with you? What did you do?”

 

“ I love him Zayn" Harry whispered, “ and I didn’t cheat on him, but I can’t come back to him"

 

“ why?”

 

But Harry took a step backwards and was ready to leave when Zayn grabbed his wrist making Harry look at him “ why?” he asked again 

 

Harry was crying, he shook his head and he left Zayn and left the whole room.

 

*****

 

“ he will leave me" Harry started after Zayn finally convinced him to sit and talk at the hotel restaurant. He saw how pale he was and he asked him to have anything to eat for break.

 

“ what are you saying Harry?” Zayn questioned

 

Harry sighed “ I know he will, I know" 

 

Zayn finally sighed “ what happened? Why would he leave you Harry, he hadn’t left while you were in your worst, why shall he now?”

 

“ because he had enough” Harry said tears in his eyes  
Zayn said getting annoyed “ explain Harry”

 

Harry sighed “ I know he was selected to be the head department”

 

“yeah so? “

 

“ he will refuse” Zayn didn’t talk, Harry “ because of me, because he thinks I am sick again and I need him again”

 

Zayn said softly “ you are not sick again.. “

 

“ you don’t know that.. Nothing is for sure now”

 

Zayn nodded then sighed “ fine.. He is selected why do you think he will leave you? 

“ because I can’t let him choose me again”

 

“ Harry, what the hell.. I guess it’s his choice right”

 

“no.. I can’t let him choose me again. Ever since he met me he is giving sacrifice after sacrifice, what did I give him in return? He’s been through for me.. And I just consume all his power and hurt him by all the ways”

“ Harry, you have never hurt him.. Right now you are. And don’t asking me what did you give him in return, you gave him love, isn’t it enough? “

 

“ it’s not” harry groaned slamming his fist on the table

 

Zayn flinched but then he looked at his brother softly “  
Harry, you are not fixing anything this way. Trust me.he deserves much better”

 

Then Harry’s phone went off, he looked at it and it was unknown number, he didn’t answer 

 

“ aren’t you answering that? “

 

Harry shook his head, Zayn “ it could be Louis. I am sure he is worried since you didn’t host the show”

 

Harry shook his head again 

 

Zayn huffed and took the phone and answered “ Harry styles phone.. No i am his brother” then he looked at Harry “yes, his husband. What happened?” he won Harry’s attention 

 

“ oh god, how bad? Okay.. Okay we will be there as fast as we can”

 

He stood up while ending the call and Harry copied him, he was looking at his brother waiting for an answer 

 

“ Louis has been in an accident”

 

Harry froze, Zayn was collecting his stuff trying to avoid Harry “ he is in surgery.. It.. It’s bad” he looked at Harry “ we have to go”

 

Harry needed not to be told twice, he subsided everything and hhis mind started to work again  
He booked the tickets and called Liam while Zayn was on a long phone with the hospital, trying to get any piece of information about Louis’s case. 

 

They were already at the airport waiting for their flight, it will be called any minute now, when Zayn finally put the phone down, harry was looking at him impatiently  
“ so? “ Harry asked, Zayn’s face was unreadable 

 

Zayn started “ they were on their way to the airport. I guess they were coming to see you”

 

Harry swallowed his fear and asked “ they?”

 

“he was with Nick”

 

Harry felt the world was spinning “is he.. Is he okay? “

 

Zayn nodded “ Yeah, broken bones.. “

 

“and Lou? “

 

Zayn sighed “ still at surgery..”

 

Harry nodded still looking at his brother “ but? “

 

Zayn finally met his eyes “ no buts Harry.. He is still in there, we still don’t know anything “

 

Harry nodded “ was this Niall?”

 

Zayn nodded Harry “can I call him? “

 

Zayn looked at Harry “ I told you what he knows.. “

 

Harry was going to talk but their flight was being called. He knew his brother was hiding something but he didn’t know what, he was scared to death , what if he didn’t make it? What if Louis had died? What if he was left alone? 

At the hospital, the tension was written on all the faces harry knew. When he met Niall he literally ran away from him, he avoided looking at his eyes and he said he was really busy and he disappeared. He tried to look for Zayn but he wasn’t found. LIAM called multiple times trying to calm Harry but Harry was panicking  
Harry was sitting in front of the operation room, the surgery took too much eight hours and was still going, he was trying v his best not to lose his mind, he tried his best to remain calm when he called Louis’s sister and told her the news. 

 

Finally doctor had been out followed by Zayn that Harry had no idea when did he went in. 

 

The doctor moved away while Zayn walked to Harry  
Harry stood up looking at his brother “tell me he is alive”

 

“ he is alive”

 

Harry tried to breath “ he is okay? “

 

Zayn sighed “ he took a quit hit Harry. It was bad it break his back.. And his... “

 

“ Zayn. What happened? “

 

“ he can’t walk again”


End file.
